BySree Lal, writer at
Engineer by occupation. Movie geek for a lifetime....
Sree Lal

As the movie goes with the usual Michael Bay-ish explosions and exploitations, Age of Extinction becomes yet another transformers movie that isn’t very much more than a guilty pleasure. Megatron becomes Galvatron, Lockdown is killed by Optimus, and finally he goes to find the creators. The credits roll with sizzling fonts, as the scene blacks out and redirects to this image:


As the exhausted viewers boos and yawns with tired looks, camera pans over them to the far end of the theatre. There sits the cast and crew of this movie, including Mark Wahlberg, Nicola Peltz, Stanley Tucci and most importantly, Michael Bay himself, right in the middle, sipping his cool-aid and his half-eaten bucket of popcorn.

Bay: Mm… What do you make of that, huh? Yet another super hit for the master director Michael Bay…

Everyone replays in a sloppy tone: Yeah, yeah… You got it right Mikey….

Bay: Ah… That explosion with the Autobots…. Optimus riding Dinobot… Man, I’m the most creative director ever…

Everyone: Yeah, yeah… You betcha…

Bay: You know what, maybe I shouldn’t quit. Maybe I should direct the next one.

Everyone: Yeah, yea… Hey what?? No… Please…

Bay (In shock): But why?? Just hear me out. I’ve got the story covered. Creators invade Earth, before Optimus could confront them. So Optimus return to Earth, and this time the fight takes place on Russia. We could make them fight on Kremlin. Also we can explode…

Mark: Hey, hey, hey… Hold on a second fella. Before you are gonna blast off another city, the only reason I’ve agreed to do the sequel is because you agreed not to direct it. Look man, everyone needs a change, I need a change. So please, let someone else make a movie that respects the source.

Bay: Oh, C’mon Mark. I respect the source. If it is not, why this movie became a huge blockbuster?

Tucci: Actually, it is not the highest grossing movie of the franchise. Also, the collection is based on the worldwide collection. Not everyone knows your directorial traits Mike.

Mark (With a grin): Tomato, tomato. So what, we can do the same thing with next one.

Mark (sobbing): Mike, Mike. Please don’t do this to me. Please, please. I’m enough famous now. Don’t make me infamous. Please Mike… I’m begging you…!!!

Suddenly the door opens, and Shia LaBeouf enters the halls. He scans the hall, and sees Bay.

Shia: Sorry, wrong movie.

Shia departs through the door without further adieu.

Camera moves to the puzzled expression of Bay and Mark.

Peltz, who was silent the whole time, raises her voice.

Peltz: Excuse me. Whoever directs it, I get to do the lead act, right??

Bay (with a smile): Of course you are, darling…

Peltz smiles with satisfaction, only to be interrupted by Megan Fox, who was sitting in the front row.

Fox: Don’t be so sure about that dear….

Peltz: Oh, C’mon. It never happens twice.

“Really”, a voice is heard beside Fox, which turns out to be from Rosie Huntington-Whiteley.

Peltz frowns on that remark and sank into her seat.

Bay: Okay, fine. So no Transformers Sequels for me anymore. If everyone wants that, then I’m okay with it…

Mark: Thank you… God, that was close…

Bay: Although, I’m planning on a live action movie on Thundercats…

Everyone in unison: Oh, man….!!!!!

...And, CUTTTTTTTT...............


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