ByMatthew Gray, writer at
Just your average, everyday Sithlord. Or, maybe more a Grey Jedi who happens to be a huge Spider-Man fan to boot.
Matthew Gray

Have you ever wanted to see a team of complete butt kickers take down the worst terrorists, serial killers, and criminals imaginable? Maybe not. But, I think of random nonsense often.

For this team of renegades I've put together, I've pulled from random genres.

The rules:

1. No superhuman powers

2. No clear criminals. These characters may blur the lines between good and evil. They may have been criminals at one time. They may still be in the eyes of the law, but, they subjectively fight on the side of the righteous.

3. They must have some type of moral code even if it is a questionable one.

4. They're not good at following rules.

Jack Bauer

The Leader
The Leader

The leader of this commando squad needs to have experience in the leadership role. This person needs to have a willingness to push boundaries for the sake of the mission. The mission is saving as many lives as possible. If a few bad guys don't get due process? So what, they're bad guys.

No one fits this description more than 24's resident Counter Terrorist Agent, Jack Bauer. He has experience leading a team. He has more than a willingness to push the limits of the law. The rule book? Jack's probably riddled it with bullets. With him, the mission is always simple. Neutralize the threat at all costs. If that means torturing information out of someone or an outright execution in the field, Jack is NOT squeamish!

Ryan Hardy

The Lone Wolf
The Lone Wolf

The Following's FBI bulldog is like Jack in the sense that he has a willingness to push the envelope. He has to in order to hunt the type of serial killers and cults he has brought to justice.

But, to say Ryan has some deep seated psychological issues is an understatement. This combined with alcoholism, makes him a wildcard and hard to control. So, he would clash with Jack more than a few times.

But, when Ryan is in hot pursuit of a killer, he's relentless. And, he will abandon the group if needed to pursue his own leads. This can be detrimental and vital to the team. He thinks outside the box. He'll follow his instincts without regard to the danger. He might see things the others in the group don't.

Frank Castle (The Punisher)

The Loose Cannon
The Loose Cannon

Frank has a singular purpose. See a criminal, kill a criminal. It doesn't matter the means of their destruction. Guns, blades, bats, fists, they're all useful.

An expert in weapons use and demolitions, Frank is the guy Jack goes to when he wants to make an impression. A loud bloody one. He's the one who knows the meaning of maximum carnage. He's also the one who will be the quickest to execute an informant when he's outlived his usefulness which will be a headache for Jack. But, he can't deny Frank's effectiveness.

Frank doesn't play well with others, so, he'll rub his teammates the wrong way without a doubt. He just doesn't like them. Or, anyone else for that matter. He'll also be the first member to go AWOL when the mission is over.

Dexter Morgan

The Scientist
The Scientist

This team will need its own forensics expert to examine crime scenes. They also need an expert in reading the minds of killers. Luckily, Dexter can help on both ends.

A blood spatter expert who is also a serial killer himself, Dexter is unique. He only hunts and preys on criminals. He's skilled in the art of stealth and blending in to appear to be the inconspicuous everyman. While he may not be quite as skilled a fighter as others on this list, he can take care of himself in most instances. He would spend most of his time in the lab, but could do field work, if necessary.

Just as long as Jack provides enough cannon fodder to satisfy Dexter's "Dark Passenger", he will stay relatively under control. And he better because Frank is keeping a very close eye on him.

Beatrix Kiddo (The Bride/Black Mamba)

The Undercover Assassin
The Undercover Assassin

The team needs at least one female agent for assignments the others are not qualified for. It's not sexist, it's just the truth in the world of espionage. There's no one better suited for the job than Kill Bill's katana-wielding mom on a mission.

There aren't words to describe how tough she is. Not only was she once part Bill's squad of specialized assassins, she also survived a deadly attack by said group. She's survived a shotgun blast, punched her way out her own buried coffin, and lived through the cruel tutelage of martial arts master, Pai Mei. And she killed a lot of people along the way.

She would be the perfect undercover agent with unmatched Kung Fu skill. Can't you just imagine her whipping a shuriken she's concealed in an evening gown at at target's throat? Yes, I am aware of the cultural blending of martial arts in these statements.

John Wick

The Soldier
The Soldier

A team like this needs an infantryman who just coolly and calmly does his job. That would be John Wick, the reformed hitman and master of Gun Fu.

Wick is great at what he does as his many victims can attest. He can easily take out multiple assailants. He'll even take their own weapons from them and wreak havoc. Jack can use him like a Claymore mine. Arm him, point him at the enemy, and let him do work!

Have Some Fun

I've got my team of bad boys (and one girl). Name yours. Have a good time with this if you want to respond. Who's your team of bad-to-the-bone killers?


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