Move over, Christian Grey, we've got a new erotica sheriff in town, and his name is Chris Pratt. Now, you might be thinking What kind of place would even need an erotica sheriff? Well, Jurassic World might do pretty well with one according to this wonderfully bizarre interview with MTV News.
At the Jurassic World press junket, this smart interviewer had the keen, velociraptor-like sense to have stars Chris Pratt and Bryce Dallas Howard read a bit of dinosaur erotica which, for some reason beyond my comprehension, is a real thing.
This is what the book looks like with its official description. In case you're wondering, it is currently rated with 4/5 stars on Amazon.
Check out the hilarious results of Chris Pratt and Bryce Dallas Howard reading an excerpt from the very real book In the Velociraptor's Nest, by Christie Sims, to some seriously sensual music:
"Oh, we've got a fan! Pardon me!"
Despite his many talents, Chris Pratt completely butchers the main character's name Azog pronounced as Azoy (...c'mon, Pratt) before realizing he's in the presence of a fan.
"Another very sensitive fandom."
He then gives the book the respect it deserves (which is not a ton).
"Azog stood back to the wall, clad only in buckskins waiting for the beast to slash her torso until she lay helpless and bleeding on the damp cave floor."
To which BDH replied, "This is so sick." She also confirms that "damp" is the worst word.
"Azog felt the kiss of sharp claws against her skin as the hide slid from her skin and exposed her naked, heaving breast."
That last look straight into the camera really says it all.
When asked how he felt about it...
"Kind of oddly turned on! This shit works!"
"Hey Azog, look me up."
Chris Pratt, actor, husband, father, all-around awesome dude, and most recently, dinosaur erotica-lover. What a romantic.
Jurassic World will open in theaters this weekend (June 12)
(Via: MTV News)