Some say "Cowabunga" and others say "Booyakasha", but we all come together as fans of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. The TMNT franchise has gone through many interpretations from TV Series, Comics, and Arcade Games from the past decades.
My first introduction to TMNT is from watching the 1990 film. It's was one the few movie I love watching over and over on the VCR as a kid. Since then I watch the first three movies, the 2003 series, and 2012 series. I only seen a few episode of the 80s cartoon, but I know a little from the series. So when they announce that a new live action film that will be release, I was like " Good! That CGI Cartoon was ok, but I want to see Turtles fight Shredder or maybe some kind of new bad ass mutant." But when they announce Michael Bay will be directing it, I was bitter. Then my bitterness turn into hatred when the word "Aliens" basic replace "Turtles"
Luckily, that Michael Bay was a producer and their were no Aliens. However, I still hated that this film was made. Whenever I saw Megan Fox as April, I cringe. Whenever I saw the turtles, I puke. And whenever I watch a trailer for it, I stop and got piss off for the rest of the day. I did not pay to see it as way of protest for a second film. Unfortunately, that's not how the world works. Luckily, for this website, MOVIEPILOT, I would like to express how I would have 2014's "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles".
Before I start the cast, I will warn you that the story will be change up a bit. Some characters will be add/remove, some will have more/less focus, and some may have a personality change up. Also, the movie will be more a comedic than action. This film will have a mixer of CGI (for stunts) and the puppet suits, like the 90's films, (for non action scenes). So, there would be stunt actors in both suits, but the actors mention will provide the voice for the turtles and Splinter. Also, I hate comic films that believe they have to be dark or have a mute color tune. SO THIS WILL BE BRIGHT AND COLORFUL FILM! Other than that, let's begin!
Elijah Wood As Leonardo
From being the leader to the hobbits to the turtles? Elijah may not be the funniest of the actors as the turtle, but Leonardo isn't either. The reason I pick him is base on the performance he gave on Wilfred. On Wilfred, Elijah is seen unconfident and trying to handle himself in a period that he is losing his mind. Which this will be sort of how Leonardo will be portray as. This film should be the beginning of the Turtles as a team. So I would like to see Leo not sure if he is making the right decisions and can't control his brother personalities. This will progress on the story by him changing into the turtle we know. Also, Elijah would usually be the butt of the joke in Wilfred, which Leo would be with his brothers.
Andy Samberg as Donatello
Words of Nicholas Cage (Andy Samberg) "HOW AM I NO IN THIS MOVIE!?" Andy is a very goofy actor, which Donatello is in the 2012 TV series. In the 2012 series, Donatello has a crush with April, which leads a goofy, but sweet reaction that Donatello would give. There won't be a romance/crush with Donatello and April, or any turtle with April. Instead, Donatello will be building machines (like the 80's theme song) that would fail (like the 80's show) and would give some kind of goofy response about it. However, this Donatello won't be an over top genius, but a smart guy that could relate with his brother about his inventions and fascinated how to fix his inventions.
Bill Hader as Raphael
Stefon as the toughest Turtle? On his run of SNL, Bill had many smart ass characters including Stefon, Herb the Reporter, and Anthony Coleman (aka Vietnam Vet puppet), which Raphael is. Yeah that Raphael is always know as the tough guy who does not have any patience, but he is more fun when he insults someones statement. This portrayal of Raphael will have him acting to much a brute and an ass-hole, but will easy up more. Bill is not anyway shape or form as a hardcore serious actor, but he is a really great character actor which could give some really interesting argument and dialogue with the other characters.
Adam Devine as Michelangelo
Perfect combination! No, seriously think about it? Adam's character on Workaholics is a lazy, cocky asshole. Basically Michelangelo. He only needs to make funny references and annoy the living hell out of Raphael. The only difference with Michelangelo and Adam's character is that Michelangelo could be shown to be great (shown in the 2003 version, which he won a fighting tournament, and in the 2012 series), but arrogance gets the best of him. Michelangelo will try to learn how to shut up, but won't at the end.
Bill Murray as Master Splinter
The greatest comedian as the greatest mentor. Bill Murray is comedic god, no one can deny it, and let's face we would all want be sitting next to him. Splinter incarnation will follow him originally as a rat and not human (also the origins of the turtles will stick to what it is usually told and not that crappy connected origins). Splinter is know for being the wise old man, but he is, also, know for having a strange and wacky sense of humor, which Bill has. Splinter will be training the turtles to the wall and torture them with any of mess ups by doing some sort of odd punishment. Why not heard some words of wisdom from Bill
Kristen Bell as April O'Neil
Veronica Mars is in it too. Ok, I haven't watch an episode of Veronica Mars, but I only seen bits and parts of it, so I'm winging on that. From the bits and parts I saw, Kristen has a very sassy attitude and she seem to be would not care if her friends would be Mutants, which I think what April is. April is usually play as the damsel, but in this movie she would be portray more that she is new to city, which would explain that she get trap more easily. Not gullible, but not use of the area. She would be a news reporter and not an intern to Stockman Labs (like the original comic and 2003 series). However, she would be interviewing Baxter Stockman and she will me the turtles the same way as the comics and 2003 series. Also, the turtles will train her in martial arts in martial arts. And finally, SHE WOULD BE BETTER THAN MEGAN FOX BECAUSE SHE WOULD PERSONALLY!
Keith David as Baxter Stockman
Keith David is a very under rated actor. He has an amazing voice as seen Gargoyles, The Princes and the Frog, and the Saint Rows game series and he had the funniest scene in There's Something Mary. What I love about him is that he can make people fear him with just his voice alone. This Baxter Stockman would have a dark past that his previous interpretations had, always getting screw. From being abuse, began create a hatred of people and his joy of creating robots because he is able to control them. This will lead a secret life of using the mousers to "malfunction" to create destruction. This Baxter Stockman will not be bumbling and would have a more serious tone. Also, he would turn into a giant fly in the find battle and will fight the turtles.
Bruce Campbell as Vernon
Evil Dead series. Enough said.
Key and Peele as Bebop and Rocksteady
Best comic duo and worst henchmen. Key and Peele are one the most hilarious duos on TV and they will soon appear in movies together. Why not have a scene or two with them improv as Purple Dragon members. Also they won't be mutated, until the next movie.
Dwayne Johnson as Hun (Cameo)
Can you smell what the Rock is cooking? Dwayne has be one of the most successful wrestler turn actor. He would play the role of Hun, who leads the Purple Dragon. Dwayne can easily play a no nonsense leader who doesn't mind crushing a few skulls. Hun will appear in one sense that he would allow Baxter Stockmen use his men to help him.
Ken Watanabe as Shredder (Cameo)
Let them fight! Ken has a good sense of cruelness in his acting performance, which would make him a good Shredder. However, Shredder would not appear as the main antagonist because Baxter Stockman would be. Instead, Shredder would appear in the post credits talking to Hun on the phone about entering New York.
Andre Meadows as a Film Critic (Cameo)
Ok, it's not a important role, but Andre is a huge TMNT fan. If you don't who Andre is, he is know as the Black Nerd Comedy on Youtube. On his videos, Andre has review a good portion of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles episodes or bits about the movies and he would find something positive about each review, even when it's bad. So why not make him a film critic on April's news station where he could give a review of a fake movie or talk with either April or Vernon. Of all of the reviewers who are fans of TMNT, Andre should make an appearance because he would be in the TMNT universe and his video would be hilarious about his time on the set.
Matthew Vaughn as Director
Matthew Vaughn has directed some great comic movies such as Kick-Ass, X-Men First Class, and Kingsman and in those films, he would have a funny quirk to them. So, he would be able direct a film like TMNT and plus he would be able expand the franchise cinematic. Just imagine the franchise with a Mighty Mutanimals movie, or enter Dimension X with the Triceratons and the Krangs in their movie, or a Casey Jones spin off.
Well, that what I want in TMNT movie. Will this happen in our life time? Probably not. Would any of my ideas appear in the next film? Maybe, who knows. At least I got multiple TMNT series to know. So would do you think about my film? Leave a comment to hear what you guys would want in a TMNT film or would change. Til then, I'm Andrew Barren signing out.