ByJoe Manio, writer at
What the title says.
Joe Manio

Marvel's The Avengers made in the 1980's?

If those great action movie stars, directors and producers got together back then and made this feature length film, what would it look like? Who would take on the role of 'Earth's Mightiest Heroes'?

Well, here's an idea of just that!

Here we go!

Arnold Schwarzenegger as THOR

Just pretend the sword is Mjolnir or Thor's Hammer...

Yes, the one and only! This would be a role Arnie would fit well into.

After all this wouldn't be his first time playing a god....

Badum Tsss!

Tom Sellick as IRON MAN

The facial hair. Get it?

Think of a playboy, smart ass, guy who's normally seen driving a fancy sports car and can crack a joke instantly. Does Magnum P.I come up? If so, great!

Jesse Ventura as CAPTAIN AMERICA

Are you ready for pain!? Are you ready for suffering!? If the answer is, 'yes' then you're ready for CAPTAIN FREEDOM...Er... AMERICA'S WORKOUT!

Now take some time to let that sink in your mind....


Let's leave it at that for this one....

Sigourney Weaver as BLACK WIDOW

Need I say more?

Sylvester Stallone as HAWKEYE

Hey at least on the bright side he wouldn't be overlooked. Come on he's Sylvester Stallone!

Well. Obvoiusly Rambo is known for being one with the Bow and Arrow.

Kurt Russell as NICK FURY

The eye-patch. Get it?

For those who don't know, Nick Fury was originially a white dude. But if you want him to be African-American just imagine this guy with an eye-patch!

You ol' pirate!

Now that they're assembled, let's get the villain!

Ricardo Montalbon as LOKI

What better mind-fornicating villain other than the great Ricardo Montalbon? Even the prosthetic chest mindf**ks with you!

There would of course be a sequel to this so here's Ultron!

Peter Weller as ULTRON

There are no strings on Alex Murphy!

Now, the director!


Spielberg wouldn't do anything like this! Cameron, however probably would! Plus, he's already worked with Schwarzenegger, Stallone and Weaver!

And finally, last but not least, the main producer!

Produced by Dino De Laurentiis

This man produced a lot of great movies back then! He would defnitely be all over this project!

Now. If someone could invent the flux capacitor, hook it up on a plutonium-powered DeLorean and make this happen that would be most excellent!


What do you think of this lineup?


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