ByBri Thoma, writer at

**The following recasting of Rocky Horror Picture Show is for fun and does not necessarily reflect any belief of the author's that the formerly mentioned film should EVER be rebooted, recast, or redone in anyway at any time.** Please enjoy.

(I missed the submission mark for the Fan Casting Contest. But reimagining a cast, especially for a Cult Classic like Rocky Horror is just too much fun to pass up. So, welcome readers and fellow film fanatics. Thank you for joining me in my first MP post! Now lets Time Warp!)

Once October rolls around I get the Rocky Horror itch. The soundtrack is on repeat on my Spotify and (since about my Jr. year of high school) it's become tradition to watch the movie with my girlfriends. Last October as the credits rolled, my friends and I started the whole "who's who if this were made today?" conversation and for the most part the cast kind of fell into place. But due to my indecisiveness there are a few roles with more than one option for recasting.

Lets go!


Ewan McGregor OR Joseph Gordon Levitt

ughughuhg, just take a second and appreciate those two beautiful men. . . . . . . . okay so; Both McGregor and Levitt are perfect in the lovestruck lovable nerd role. McGregor blew us all away when he revealed a singing voice equally as beautiful as he is in Moulin Rouge. I know I'm not the only one that lip-synchs Nicole Kidman's parts imagining myself opposite Ewan the second I hear him sing "All you need is love. . . " form the Love Melody. And in more recent years JGL has been showing us all his impressive musical range. For me, the deciding factor between the two would depend on who has better chemistry with the Leading Lady. Speaking of which. . .


Brittany Snow

Personally I was introduced to Brittany Snow in 2007's Film adaptation of the Broadway hit Hairspray. If that was all I had seen of Miss Snow I don't think she would have so quickly come to mind to be the seemingly innocent, newly engaged, and confusedly horny Janet Weiss. But with her ginger makeover for her role as Chloe in Pitch Perfect she was the first face to pop in my head. And can I just say, I think I might prefer her as a red head! We all know by now that Snow has a lovely singing voice, and with her big doe eyes and girl next door looks she's pretty perfect for Janet.


Malcolm McDowell

Not much convincing needed for this recasting, it's pretty much a no brainer. Most notably known for his role as Alex in Kubrick's A Clockwork Orange McDowell just fits the strange tone of the film. Plus he has the perfect english accent for the narrator of this absurd (in the best way) story that is Rocky Horror Picture Show. And to be honest it would be a dream come true to see Malcolm McDowell teach us all how to Time Warp.


Niel Patrick Harris

It seems sacrilegious to turn such a beautiful man into a hunchbacked igor-esque creature. But I truly beleive NPH is the transformative triple threat for the job. And he's no stranger to cult classics. We all know him as Barney in How I Met Your Mother but some favor him as Dr. Horrible, from Dr. Horribles Sing Along Blog. You know he's got the pipes for it too. Most recently he took broadway by storm, as the barely recognizable Hedwig in the US debut of Hedwig and the Angry Inch. I have no doubt he would take this role and run with it if given the chance. It's not hard for me to picture him in all the makeup and costume, KILLIN IT in the Time Warp.


Helena Bonham Carter

duh. I'm not even going to elaborate. Except to say she is what started the conversation last year. I mean come on.


Lady Gaga

I reeeeally struggled with Columbia. She's a unique character. There really wasn't an obvious choice when thinking about actors. But as soon as I started to think about the possibility of a singer crossover Gaga was IT. You know Gaga would fit right in with this cast of characters. You don't need some Oscar winning performance from her, Columbia is just a spunky little fan girl. Gaga could do it.


Russell Brand

This was another obvious one. No one could ever surpass or even match the all mighty Tim Curry as beloved Dr. Frank N Furter but Russell Brand could come pretty damn close. He's got the right bone structure, and just enough of a feminine air to him that he could totally rock some hooker heels and bondage. And he's proven enough that he can sing. I'm not afraid to admit I sincerely love all the songs at the end of Get Him to The Greek.


Zachary Levi or Jonathan Groff

If you're not a Gleek or don't really keep up with Broadway news you might not know Jonathan Groff who was Melchior in the original Broadway cast of Spring Awakening (alongside Glee star Leah Michelle). But you might still recognize his voice as Christophe in the Disney obsession Frozen. And if THAT'S not ringin' any bells I can't help you, I'm sorry. I'm not sure which rock you've been living under for the past 2 years. Just trust me, he's a strong contender. BUT so is Zachary Levi. Who oddly enough also voices a Disney Hunk, Flynn Rider from 2010's Tangled. If you're having trouble picturing Levi blonde you're not alone. It only takes a quick google search though, long tan and handsome did go blonde for his role in Thor: The Dark World. I think which ever one isn't towered over by Russell Brand in platform heels is the best fit.


Jack Black

Meatloaf and Jack Black could easily be related. In fact Meatloaf did appear as Bud Black, Jack Blacks father in Tenacious D in The Pick of Destiny. Black would absolutely own this role with all the enthusiasm and extremely expressive eyebrows that you would expect from him. It's a perfect fit.

AND last but certainly not least, *drum rollllllllLLLLLL*



The man the myth the legend, there is just no Rocky Horror without Tim Curry. He was hot in his heyday, as the sweet transvestite from transexual Transylvania. But that was a long time ago and, I say this with love, we just don't want to see him in that same get up if the movie were to be done again. But I can't imagine a better Dr. Scott. I truly have grown up watching this man, he holds a special place in my heart.

To me Rocky Horror is the pinnacle of cult classics. It's goofy and weird, has some cheesy but catchy as hell songs. There's really no grey area, people either love it or they hate it. It doesn't pretend to be more than it is. I don't know that I could really even tell you what exactly it is. But regardless it has spawned a culture of fans who flock to theaters dressed up and armed with props to recite and sing along with their favorite parts. We live in a time now where cult classics are hard to come by. Because we can never leave well enough alone. Everything that does well in the theaters or gathers a following automatically then has to have a sequel or a series. It's all about the franchise and the money to be made off the fans. Lets try to let something be original again. (That being said, I would like to reiterate; I do not wish for this film to ever be redone.) It's a classic. And I love it just the way it stands.


Well, how 'bout that? What do you think? Do you agree with any of my casting choices?

Who would you cast? I'd love to hear your thoughts. leave me a comment!


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