ByKarly Rayner, writer at
Movie Pilot's celebrity savant
Karly Rayner

Harry Potter might be books that a lot of us fell in love with when we were but innocent babes, but as the fandom has matured, so has their taste in merchandise when it comes to living out their Hogwarts fantasies.

We've all seen just how erotically charged the world of Harry Potter fan fiction can get, and it seems like this imaginative role play is creeping into plenty of muggle bedrooms around the world.

Below are the 12 naughtiest Harry Potter products I've managed to gather from the dark corners of the internet, but which ones would you allow into your Chamber of Secrets?

12. Gryffindor Garter

Buy the here

I'm pretty sure these naughty Hogwarts garters weren't part of the uniform policy...

11. Horny Hogwarts Uniform

Buy it here

Hermione certainly wouldn't approve.

10. Luna Loves Good

Buy it here

These Luna Lovegood panties might be cheesy, but at least they do it in a good font.

9. The Naughty Nimbus 2000

I've rooted this one out of the closet before, but I always have time in my heart for the Nimbus 2000.

Sold as a vibrating broom toy for kids (I think it's safe to assume the marketing team were on crack), this toy was enthusiastically adopted by more, ummm, adult Harry Potter fans and is the subject of some epic Amazon reviews.

8. Butterbeer Massage Oil

Buy it here

If you've ever wanted to lick the taste of your childhood off your partner's naked bod, this one is for you!

7. Expect my Patronus

Buy them here

When you read it in this context, the entry from the Harry Potter Wikia page seems a little less savory than intended:

When the incantation Expecto Patronum is spoken; the Patronus will come from the tip of the wand and can be directed towards a target by pointing one's wand at said target.

6. Magic Wand XXX

Buy it here

This wand dildo is lovingly crafted from white oak, just like Hagrid's. PHWOAR!

5. Golden Snitch Pasties

Check them out here

These naughty nipple covers will certainly make catching the snitch a more sexually charged endeavor...

4. Deathly Hooters

Buy it here

This deathly hallows bra could be useful to ward off unwanted attention on the beach.

3. Ridin' Dirty

Buy it here

I think it's imperative every Harry Potter fan follows this proclamation, It's an educational degree for Pete's sake!

2. Naughty for Neville

Buy it here

Even a ridiculous British name and years looking like a chubby rodent couldn't put us off the current incarnation of Neville Longbottom a.k.a. Matthew Lewis.

1. Only for Elders...

Check it out here

When a wand looks as much like anal beads as this bad boy, it's easy to see why it's strictly for elders.

(Source: Buzzfeed and Buy Harry Potter Costumes)


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