ByMikhail Efimenko, writer at
Slacker, film geek, half-assed poetry writer. Bad in school, terrible at socializing. Dream to become someone. Am really into the 80's and 9
Mikhail Efimenko

First off-everybody knows about the Fantastic Four reboot, right? If the internet is to be believed, this is going to be the worst movie of the year, and in a year full of superhero flicks, this is saying something. I shall try (and most likely, fail) to change your opinion and stop you from bashing the movie.

First off, the cast. Miles Teller, Michael B. Jordan, Kate Mara, Jamie Bell. One is black, one is young, one is thin and most known to have played a ballet dancer and the last is a far cry from the blond bombshell, that Sue Storm is in the comics or Jessica Alba was in the movie. Is this what the Fantastic Four looks like in the comics ? No. Is this terrible ? No. Let’s be honest, the actors are great. Ever seen Whiplash ? No ? Go watch it right now. And if you are too lazy to get the torrent up and going, then let the numbers speak for me : 8.9 on IMDB and 95 % on Rotten Tomatoes. The movie is a masterpiece and that is , for the most part, thanks to the great lead: Miles Teller. Do I believe he is a great actor and is going to rock Hollywood for years to come ? Yes. Do I believe him to be a great Mister Fantastic ? Of course. Next on our list is Jamie Bell. Tintin and Billy Eliott are the two most famous movies on his resume. One was…good , while the other was great, I guess? Okay, I understand that the movie is over gazillion years old and that Bell was only 14 when he played Billy, so that plays a part, but he was awesome as TinTin and that was animated. Next up- Kate Mara. To be honest :I don’t know anything about her. The only movie or series with her I ever saw was AHS-Murder House and I liked her in it. She wasn’t great or anything and never stood next to Evan Peters or Jessica Lange, but her role could easily have been an abomination and she did a great job of making it as watchable as possible. The last one is Michael B Jordan and this is the only guy I have never ever seen in any movie of any kind and so it is a big fat question mark how he will be played out. Okay, the actors are great, you say, but what about the set problems ? the delaying’s ? There have been quite a few movies with lots and lots of delaying’s of script dates and shooting dates and so on and so on. You know which other movie was in development hell for years in a row ? Mad-fracking-Max:Fury Road. Did it turn out fine ? Yes it did. It was even more than fine-it was mother fracking, ass kicking, machines exploding awesome. And that from the man who made Happy Feet. So, immediately to our next point –the director. His only other movie was Chronicle, another movie about a bunch of mismatched teens gaining superpowers and starting kicking each other’s asses. This time, I didn’t watch the movie. But again-numbers don’t lie: 7.1 on IMDB and 85% on Tomatoes. Oh, and you which other actor had only one film to his name and still made the best sequel of all times ? Colin Trevorrow. With his Jurassic World he did not only prove (once more) to the whole world that Dinosaurs are mother-fracking awesome, he also proved that the mother-fracking T-Rex, is , once again , the king of all land dinosaurs, only outmatched by the Mosasaurus, but that is a totally different story. It is also so that the director is, apparently , a great fan of the Fantastic Four and it seems that he has a pretty good idea about what he is going to do:

“I always bring up David Cronenberg,but does this movie feel like a David Cronenberg movie ? Not really. It’s like when I say it’s Dark Amblin; I’m saying it’s a movie about kids who are going to do something extraordinary and the consequences are going to be magical…but in a darker, more cynical ways that a typical Amblin Movie.

So, that is David Cronenberg for kids.

And last is that…the comic would never going to work anyway if you translate them in a movie piece by piece. There are some movies who work like that, for example Sin City or Watchmen, but the 4 ? Nah, they don’t. Seriously. The comic books (or even the cartoon series , for that matter) are extremely funny and ridiculous and most times only work in movies if you have one (or two ) realistic series from which you can harvest parts and bits. For Iron Man it’s Extremis or Demon in A Bottle. For Daredevil: Born Again. For Punisher: Welcome back Frank. For X-Men: Days of Future Past or God loves, Men kills. For Fantastic Four…It just doesn’t have enough quality material to make it fly. And the costumes….they are bad too. I highly doubt that they could ever be translated properly to the big screen, without looking fracking ridiculous.

So, that was it then. I highly doubt that my article shall be read, or commented, or change anything in the constant bashing on a movie that is going to be good, so enjoy yourself, Fanboys.


Do you think it is going to be good ?


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