ByArchie R Spires, writer at Creators.co
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Archie R Spires
©E.L. Studios & CBI Media
©E.L. Studios & CBI Media

I recently read Ms. Browne's thought provoking piece.
And I feel I have an obligation to counter the fan theories mentioned in said piece.
Although, when it comes to wealthy men defending the common people from the shadows, she does seem unaware of the Scarlet Pimpernel, or Zorro.

FIRST!
FIRST!

01. Batman's Voice.

I'm not sure how this is considered relevant since Batman using a voice distinct from Bruce Wayne was first established in 1992 by Kevin Conroy.

The best part about Mr. Conroy's work?
I didn't need closed captions to understand what was being said.

I loved that Amell's Arrow uses 50 year old technology to fool people. It was one of the few things of merit that at least got me through the first season of Batman-Lite.

Batman's hard on copycats.
Batman's hard on copycats.

02. Bane's a Good Guy

Bane broke Bateman's back and threw him in an Eastern European literal hellhole of a prison.
I do wish I knew where Nolan came up with the idea of locking the hero in an inescapable prison surrounded by desperate lifers...

Pictured:  A superior trilogy
Pictured: A superior trilogy

A prison that only a ten year old girl and newly paraplegic man could escape from.

I made him look like a punk.
I made him look like a punk.

As for Tom Hardy's "Bane", he was a horrible adaptation and easily the worst...
Excluding the pain and horror that was Batman and Robin's Bane.

I offended fanboys way before Hardy did.
I offended fanboys way before Hardy did.

In all other media Bane's always been portrayed as a Central American who escaped a lifelong prison sentence after surviving medical experimentation and upon learning of Gotham's Dark Knight wished to become a darker version of him.

How is no one else aware of this?
How is no one else aware of this?

Tom Hardy's portrayal of a Foghorn Leghorn talking through a wadded up sock League of Assassins Lieutenant was so far off the original concept, it made Nolan/Bale's emo broody ninja seem like a reasonable adaption.

This is the most accurate thing I've ever read.
This is the most accurate thing I've ever read.

03. Bateman is Dead

This may be the only entry on the list that makes some sense, even allowing for for movie logic.

The blast energy from a standard fission device is released at 671 miles/hour. In order to escape that, Bateman's stupid looking inverted helicopter Transformers' reject would need to be able to reach Mach 1 or 717 miles/hour.

Because a supersonic Harrier jet would make sense.
Because a supersonic Harrier jet would make sense.

Batman's awesome, but unless we're talking the trained under Giovanni "John" Zatara, Henri Ducard, Ted "Wildcat" Grant, Harvey Harris, Kirigi, David Cain, Willie Doggett, and a plethora of unnamed others...
He was dead before he realized it.
This can't always be the answer, no matter how much we want it,

Not always the right answer.
Not always the right answer.

04. The Joker's Fourth Wall.

It works for Ambush Bug and Deadpool, so why not the Clown Prince of Crime?
Because Heath Ledger's Joker was based on The Long Halloween, The Killing Joke, and The Man Who Laughs.
The Long Halloween gave us the deadly thinking Joker.
The Killing Joke gave us the amoral, but humanized Joker.
And The Man Who Laughs gave us the field leader-tech savvy Joker.

The many faces of a man who'll shoot you in face.
The many faces of a man who'll shoot you in face.

All of which were employed by Heath Ledger.
As for whether he "looks like a guy with a plan" and thought as the lead villain he was immortal:

A PLAN!
A PLAN!

A single action pistol won't fire with the hammer locked back.

05. Batman's crazy.

To be honest, I would to.
To be honest, I would to.

Yeah, he is. But for every villain and person he's met to be part of a psychosis literally ignores every time another villain or hero went up against a member of his rogue's gallery without his knowledge.

06. What's in the box?

A gun.

I'm so proud of this image.
I'm so proud of this image.

I personally have no problem with good fan theories that make sense.
These... They were just bad.
They lacked an understanding of character and his history.

Damn kids don't appreciate history.
Damn kids don't appreciate history.

When not complaining that no one understands Batman like he does, Archie R Spires is an interviewer and editor for CBI Magazine.

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