BySam Plank, writer at
"You have to be what you are. Whatever you are, you gotta be it." -Johnny Cash. Tweet a tweeter at my twitty twitter, @tw1tterintw1t
Sam Plank

After Man of Steel, Metropolis was so wasted, that they actually are making a movie about how mad Batman is at Superman for helping destroy it. Sure, he saved the planet, but couldn't he have taken the fight to the Sahara Desert, or a Western Kansas?

That was one of the biggest post-fight messes that a city had to clean up. Right up there is New York and the aftermath of The Avengers. I haven't seen Avengers 2 yet (I know,, but it sounds like spelled-out Hulky tore South Africa (was that it?) up pretty bad.

But what about the everyday cleanup from superheroes? Not the city-demolishing disasters, but all the little stuff left behind every time a purse snatcher gets strung up, or something of that nature? Here are a few messes that I'd hate to be the one responsible for cleaning up every. single. day!

Spiderman's webbing

The dude uses it for everything! Flying, tying up baddies, you name it. As sticky as that stuff is, some poor city worker is probably not Spidey's biggest fan. In fact, that might work as the next Villain in Spiderman's next appearance...The Webbing Cleaner That Got Fed Up

Aquaman's dead fish

He once used a wave to knock down the doors of a government building when they wouldn't let him in. How many fish do you think that left behind? I'd like to think he would command them all to swim back when the wave receded, but I doubt that. Think of the stink!

Anytime Bruce Banner has to wait a little too long in a checkout line at Walmart, when there are only 2 lines open and 48 of them aren't manned

Cleanup on aisle...all of them!

Batman Batpoop

He's been known to summon swarms of bats stuff to criminals.

The Flash and his turbulence

As fast as that guy goes, there isn't anything in sight that's wouldn't be blown over as he sped by, if it isn't nailed down. There would be a lot of skirt-related wardrobe malfunctions, sure, but think of the draft behind the dude...paper, posters, banners (easy, Bruce). Not a balloon vender would be spared if he ran by his booth.

Johnny Storm

No words needed. Fly OVER the buildings, Torch!

The Thing

Potholes! Foot-shaped potholes everywhere!

Well, that's about all I have. I mean, Thor and his lightning could be an issue, but just don't stand under any trees while he's fighting. And if Chuck Norris is considered a superhero, think of all the pregnant women he leaves in his wake! After that karate tournament he hosted in Beijing, you all know what China's population looks like now.

Any cleanups anyone else can think of?


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