ByBridget Serdock, writer at
A Jedi master, Pokemon training, keyblade wielding, super powered black belt who dabbles in witchcraft and wizardry
Bridget Serdock

According to Walt Disney, Chernabog is the devil himself. Chernabog is the only villain ever created in any Disney movie who is evil for the sake of being evil. His only known purpose is to cause chaos.

And every Walpurgisnacht (April 30th), he rises again to cause chaos and destruction. From the moment the sun goes down to the moment the sun comes up, Chernabog rules the word. He can bring back the souls of the dead who weren't buried in sacred ground. He also controls hordes of demons that allow him to set them on fire. His chaos is known round the world.

This year, he has found a way to make it so that the sun never rises again and the Walpurgisnacht will last forever, and his reign will never end. Unless we can find someone to do this for us.

I've got four candidate resumes here for you to review. They're not the best candidates I've seen, but everyone else is either dead, missing, or has no chance against Chernabog.

First Candidate

Name: Riku

Race: Human

Gender: Male

Age: 16 (maybe older, I'm not sure how his timeline works)

Riku is extremely damaged and constantly has to fight with his inner demons. Making him a pretty decent candidate for taking on a being whose the embodiment of pure evil and darkness.

Pros: He is the chosen wielder of the Keyblade. In fact, he's a Keyblade Master of Kingdom Hearts 3 who can enter the dreams of people and sleeping worlds to go about fixing them. Arguably the strongest Keyblade wielder ever because he houses both light and darkness within his heart. He's able to resist the temptation of the dark and walk the line between light and dark. Something no one has ever done before, as far as anyone's aware. He is one of only two people on record to have ever defeated Chernabog.

Cons: Riku fought a version of Chernabog in one of those sleeping worlds I mentioned. The real Chernabog is worse. See, the one he fought is several years old. The one we're dealing with has had plenty of time to perfect his abilities. To be exact, he's had 75 years to do so. Riku became a Keyblade Master 3 years ago. I'm not sure if that's enough time for Riku to catch up to Chernabog. Also, walking the path between light and dark doesn't seem too helpful if at any moment Riku could go dark and actually side with Chernabog. He went dark once to save his best friend from that best friend's clone/person/Nobody (it was weird and complicated, Google it). If he thinks that's the only chance to stop Chernabog, we might have another threat afterwards.

Second Candidate

Name: Ultron

Race: Robot

Gender: Male... Do robots have genders?

Age: About 2 months

Ultron was created by Tony Stark in [The Avengers: Age Of Ultron](tag:293035) using the Mind Stone found within Loki's scepter. This was in an attempt to create an AI that would be able to protect the Earth from any and all threats. He is very similar to Tony. Maybe that intelligence can get us a win out of this.

Pros: He has an entire army at his disposal who all share the same consciousness as him. It took all the Avengers plus two criminal twins and a friend to take him and his entire army down. His main body is made of Vibranium, the toughest material on Earth. And to take down a villain, sometimes you need to think like a villain.

Cons: His army is pretty disposable as in they're easy to destroy. I only took nine people to take down that entire army. His main body may be nearly indestructible, but that's only nearly indestructible, and that version was destroyed by the android he created. He's a villain. He tried destroying the world. He's an angry AI. He is very similar to Tony Stark.

Third Candidate

Name: Smaug

Race: Dragon

Gender: Male

Age: Really, really, really old (~180 years)

Smaug took over the Lonely Mountain and held it for sixty years. And in those 60 years he slept. Let's hope that sleeping did some enlightenment or else we're in trouble.

Pros: Did I mention he took over the Lonely Mountain single-handedly? Another thing, he's a dragon. A giant, fire breathing, winged dragon. As stated by the big guy himself, his teeth are swords, his claws are spears, his wings are a hurricane. His only weakness is black arrows which Chernabog probably doesn't have.

Cons: He's overly confident, far too zealous, and has a hoarding problem. That gold chamber was a real mess; at least the dwarves kept it tidy. He's been sleeping for 60 years and he definitely has a lot of physical and mental rust to get rid of. He was also struck by one of those black arrows in [The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies](tag:512312) and has a chink in that thought-to-be invincible armor of his.

Fourth Candidate

Name: Alice Parks

Race: Human

Gender: Female

Age: ?

Alice is an amnesiac with impeccable fighting skills. She used to work for a corrupt company that ended up plummeting the world into a zombie apocalypse. She found out they were shady and switched sides to become one badass good guy.

Pros: She is a bonafide badass. She has telekinetic powers, super strength, and is a skilled fighter. She is essentially immune to the T-virus, or at least she doesn't turn into a zombie. Instead, the T-virus gives her powers. She is one of the few people to survive the outbreak in Raccoon City. And she clearly knows right from wrong as she rebelled against the Umbrella Corporation.

Cons: She suffers from amnesia and doesn't always remember everything. Eventually those memories come back, but there isn't always time for eventually. And her powers can be removed by giving her the anti-virus. She has also only proven able to take down zombies of normal size. Not large giant demons embodying pure evilness.


Which candidate do you pick to save us?


Latest from our Creators