Byusedtobemoses, writer at

Everybody wants to win an oscar but it can be quite difficult so I have decided to show everybody step by step how its done.

1. There should be slow and suspenseful piano music.

2. Your film should be set in world war II.

3. Your main character should be injured or handicapped.

4. There should be voice over.

5. When your main character dramatically screams (obligatorily) there should be no sounds.

6. There should be a beautiful actress but with ugly prosthetics or a shaved head or something else that makes her look less attractive.

8. Your character should have a major flaw.

9. There should be religious imagery.

10. The main character should die.

-Moses Ochs


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