Rocksteady's finale in the acclaimed Arkham series is finally out. I've played it, and to my glee the game's tagline does not disappoint. You do indeed become The Batman. The most unrealistic superhero of all time. Why? I'll tell you why. Batman has massive balls. It's impossible for a man to move that swiftly and freely with balls that size. I reckon there'll be a lot of chafing.
It's a massive help that Kevin Conroy voices The Caped Crusader, every time that man speaks a new patch of hair appears on my chest. True story. So without further a do. These are the five moments where I almost stepped out the door and took up a crusade of my own fighting crime. Be warned, there be spoilers ahead.
1 - The Friggin' Batmobile.
Not only is this the first game you get to drive Batman's sweet ride, but it gets it's own badass introduction. You start off as Batman saving a civilian, and out of nowhwere a tank emerges to squash you. Batman quickly grapples away and takes the civilian to a safe place. The civilian scared for his life, watches Batman's eyes, as he now has a look in his eyes. As Batman walks away and stares at the ground, the civilian, terrified asks him. 'What are you doing?' To which Batman replies. 'Evening the odds.'
Now the cool part here is, the prompt to call the Batmobile the first time, does not say 'Call Batmobile' as it says during the entire game. This one and only time it reads. 'Even the Odds.'
Skip to the 3 minute mark, to see the cool moment!
2 - Team Ups.
Multiple times during the game, you're forced to team up with Catwoman, Robin and Nightwing. These add an extra element of combat to the game, as there are certain enemies only the other character can hit. It forced me to time my combos and counters and character switches. Like the world's greatest detective.
3 - Interrogations
Again. Kevin Conroy's voice is a big factor in this point. A lot of people have been saying he doesn't sound as good as the last two games. I have to disagree. He sounds better. He speaks as a man who's close to tipping off the edge, a man who has no more patience. The interrogation above again has a really cool line, a line only The Batman can get away with.
As he's holding the inmate's hand, he interrogates him and obtains all the information he needs, he exclaims 'If you're lying, I'll break the other one.' The inmate oblivious ponders 'The other wh---' CRACK! Your wrist is useless now man.
4 - Taking down Hush.
In Arkham City, the predecessor to Arkham Knight, a sidequest revealed that Tommy Elliot, also know as Hush was lurking the streets, killing people and performing plastic surgery on his face to look like Bruce Wayne. Fans of the franchise, myself included wanted that side story to be incorporated into the main plot somehow. That didn't happen. I know of people disappointed with that turn of events, but this storyline, given the circumstances ended well.
Plus the way Batman dispatches him, is as if he suddenly joined the WWE. He does a Dudley Boyz 3D.
The whole moment is excellent, short and sweet.
5 - I'm Batman.
Is there anything more badass? Is there anything that makes you feel more like Batman, than just uttering the fabled words 'I'm Batman.' Seriously?
Try it. Imitate Kevin Conroy's voice and say 'I'm Batman.' You will feel a rush of energy go down your body, and a somewhat sudden urge to fight crime and beat up clowns. The video below is the ending of the game, even if you don't care about spoilers, I suggest you play the game, it's truly an excellent storytelling experience. But if you don't mind spoilers, skip to the 13 minute mark to hear the famous words.
Well people, I hope you've enjoyed this article. Have you played Arkham Knight yet? What did you think? Did you become THE BATMAN?
Let me know of the moments you had some hair grow on your body, because of the utter badassness of the combination of Kevin Conroy and Batman. For the sake of my sanity, hopefully that only affected men and not women.
Have a wonderful day, and please love yourselves.