Now listen, I mean absolutely no offence to the cast, creators, writers et al who worked on the family Sitcom classic, none at all. Full House was exactly what it was supposed to be: wholesome, cheesy, and squeaky clean. The rules were simple. Drugs are bad, lying is wrong, and sharing is nice. It was a time when cute puppies and adorable catch phrases were king. But wholesome was never my thing. I didn’t even like it when it originally aired, yet somehow I can honestly claim I have seen every single episode. Why? WHY?
And no, I’m not too cool to admit when I like stuff that “isn’t cool”. I un-ironically love the Spice Girls. Sorority Row is one of my favourite movies. I wish Mystery Girls had been renewed for a second season. (Please know that I do like cool things too.) But Full House never did it for me. Maybe it was a grotesque fascination, like watching a car crash. Maybe it was that inevitable, gentle “lesson learned” wrap up music at the end. Maybe it was because Uncle Jesse was just so darn cool. (He was, actually. And John Stamos is even hotter now. I’ll defend it to the death). Whatever the reason, I stuck by it until the bitter end. And when news broke that Fuller House would be coming to Netflix, the continuing story of a widowed DJ living with sister Stephanie and kooky best friend Kimmy Gibbler in an effort to raise her sons, I got excited. I actually got excited. And I still don’t know why.
I don’t think it’s just the nostalgia factor. I never missed Full House after it was over, I have NO interest in the upcoming behind the scenes movie that’s in the works, and history has proven that reboots of classic shows and films are hit or miss (That Jem movie is going to be an abomination). So since I can’t explain it, let’s look at the facts.
I will admit, Andrea Barber’s portrayal of annoying, outrageously fashioned neighbor Kimmy Gibbler is actually something to be excited about. She cluelessly pissed everybody off by being crass, clueless, and brash, yet DJ loved her and stood by her. She was the anti-Tanner! How can you not love that? I kind of feel like Jodie Sweetin deserves another kick at the cat. She had arguably the hardest job on the show starting as the cute (yet bratty) middle sister who transitioned into a too old-to-be-cute-but-too-young-to-date sister so they made her deal with “issues”. Plus they made her dance. But she and Kimmy were great sparring partners so that could be fun. There’s even an episode where little teeny Steph called Kimmy a whore in a roundabout way. True story. Look it up. And Sweetin has overcome a past meth addiction and I’m a sucker for a good comeback. And then there’s Candace Cameron-Bure in the titular role as DJ Fuller nee Tanner. She seems fine.
And what of the rest of the extended Tanner clan? Word is the regular cast will be reuniting for the premiere, minus the Olsen twins. I was actually disappointed they couldn’t get the Olsen twins. WHY AM I DISAPPOINTED THEY COULDN’T GET THE OLSEN TWINS? But I digress. I admit I’ve always been intrigued by Bob Saget’s tale of being stuck on a family show when really he was a stand-up comedian with some pretty racy material. And will Dave Coulier bop his way in with impressions, puppets and gags? Three words, Dave. Cut. It. Out. And I’ve always given Lori Loughlin the credit for being decent in a thankless role, capable of better things. And will John Stamos be bringing the Beach Boys with him? Oh, who cares. He’s so hot.
(Sidenote: Are they bringing back Danny Tanner’s second wife? How will Steve fit into the picture? Why am I even asking?!)
Well, I’ve weighed the evidence. Logically there is nothing of true value enticing me to watch Fuller House. Yet I’m inexplicably drawn to it like a moth to some inoffensive, impotent, and harmless flame. I will be watching Fuller House. Well… definitely the pilot anyway. This fascination may quickly fade.
But whether I like it or not, whether you’re excited or appalled that Fuller House is coming to the small screen, there is a little bit of merit in bringing back the old form of the “lessons learned” family sitcom. I LOVED the Facts of Life but I still rolled my eyes sometimes in those final serious moments “very special episodes”. And who doesn’t remember that episode of Growing Pains where Carol’s boyfriend Sandy (played by a young Matthew Perry) died as a result of drunk driving, then that statistic changed right before the end credits? (People in their 20s, that’s who doesn’t remember). And even though they were lessons we certainly already knew (it’s wrong to steal, don’t drink underage, be kind to one another), a little reminder never went astray.
But let’s not go crazy with the family shows. I mostly just want murder, sex, secrets, and mind boggling plot twists.