ByMatthew Gray, writer at
Just your average, everyday Sithlord. Or, maybe more a Grey Jedi who happens to be a huge Spider-Man fan to boot.
Matthew Gray

The year: 2134

Plague and war have devastated the planet. Water and food are scarce. Most of what's left of humanity is picking over the bones of an almost dead Earth. Lawlessness is the rule. Marauders are all over ready to do you unspeakable harm.

In this kind of world, you don't want to roll alone. You need a crew that can take care of itself (and you) if needed. For me, personally, in addition to brushing up on my Aikido skills before all this devastation took, I need a small band of loyal badasses who know how to do one thing above all else...survive!


Bring it on, 'Bub!
Bring it on, 'Bub!

Take a look at this picture and ask me again why I want him as my travel buddy. Let's run it down.

1. Unbreakable razor sharp claws

2. Healing factor that mends just about all wounds instantly

3. Unbreakable bones

4. Bad attitude

Remember those marauders that keep popping up? After my buddy, Logan, skewers a few dozen of them, they might start thinking twice about messing with my group. Plus, he has enhanced senses. He can sniff out food where it exists, hear and smell danger long before it gets close, the possibilities are endless. And when danger does get close, he's going to rip it apart. Logan is someone more comfortable in the wild most times than in civilization. He knows how to live off the land, a skill that I definitely have use for.


Do you want to live forever?
Do you want to live forever?

This was a choice I had to ponder a little bit as I debated between Conan's paramour and Michonne from The Walking Dead. Both are sword-wielding survivors. What gives Valeria the edge is that I think she's been doing the sword swinging just a little bit longer. She's also a trained warrior. Do you remember how many of Thulsa Doom's soldiers she took down in Conan the Barbarian? I'm taking nothing away from Michonne. She can wield a katana like nobody's business. But, she's taking the skull caps off zombies and not living, breathing, thinking individuals. And she only reluctantly became the warrior she is when the zombie apocalypse started. She hasn't been doing this her whole life.

The added advantage is Valeria is a master thief, another skill that might prove useful at times. And, from the above picture, she knows a little something about camouflage.

Ash Williams


Few are more innovative or resourceful than Ash. He endures a lot as he fights the Deadites in the Evil Dead trilogy. He loses his hand and replaces it by attaching a chainsaw to the nub. He gets caught in the medieval past with little technology to rely and builds himself a mechanical hand. Plus, he destroys a lot of Deadites in the process. Just so long as he doesn't have to read from the Book of the Dead, he would be a great "road dog." And, when trouble rears its ugly little head, Ash has his trusty "boomstick" to rely on.

In this bleak future, you also need someone to lighten the mood on occasion. Ash's crazy bravado will leave the group in stitches. Well, maybe not Logan. But, there would at least be some entertainment value for me watching him try to hit on Valeria. But, you know that's all just pillow talk, baby.

The Furious Four

Well, the Furious Three plus one really. This is the crew I'd want to roll with. I think I'd last for a little while in any apocalypse with these three. Aww, who am I kidding. I'd probably still get taken out in the first few days.


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