ByDoug Distel, writer at

Preface - I held myself to non-superhero/supernatural/magical/etc types on purpose. I'm looking for the grit and skills of everyday humans for this list.

Okay, okay... The year is 2134. Bandits are plentiful, roving gangs all over the place and possibly mutants lurking in the dark places? Who knows?! Everything went tits up and you're stuck with couple of chumps who wouldn't last a minute in a puppy wrestling match. Oh wait, no you aren't! You happen to be partnering up with a couple lean mean survival machines who will almost 100% guarantee success, which is a good thing cause you ain't got time to bleed.

First up, the foremost expert on surviving these types of catastrophes...

Sarah Connor

Locked, Loaded and ready for Judgment Day
Locked, Loaded and ready for Judgment Day

Sarah is not only a veteran of survival tactics in the post-apocalypse genre, she's doing it against the potential full Matrixification of our whole little blue marble. Guts, guns(more than just those that shoot... she must workout) and the ability to dig herself in deeper than an Alabama tick, she's most definitely the go-to for this type of mission. Need I say more?

Second on this list of ultimate survivalists (and if you haven't caught the references)...

Dutch - from Predator

Openly insults an 8 ft tall killing machine... yup.
Openly insults an 8 ft tall killing machine... yup.

Dutch is, to quote Dillon "'Cause some damn fool accused you of being the best." and he is absolutely, irrefutably accurate. Military training? Check. Advanced survival skills in any and all terrain? Check. Never quits, has an fierce loyalty and responsibility to his men? Check. Goes toe-to-toe with one of sci-fis greatest hunters? Check. Some men are built for tracking and hunting, some men for fighting, others for tactics and Dutch has all of these in spades. You want muscle/survival skills for your team? You want Dutch, period.

Last but not least... the heart and soul of your merry band of survivalists...

Ellen Ripley(circa Aliens)

Going to cheat a bit... Jinx is definitely coming.
Going to cheat a bit... Jinx is definitely coming.

What can I say about Ripley that you don't already know. She's resourceful, skilled in many areas, compassionate, a natural leader and one the most baddass women ever. While she may not have the post apocalypse experience as Sarah, what she lacks she makes up in shear force of will. She's already dealt with space marines so she can absolutely work with Dutch. Her and Sarah may butt heads but ultimately the best ideas would surface and I'd be hard pressed to come up with a scenario they couldn't solve between the two of them. One other thing... she practically stared into the mouth of madness, stared down the devil, and then called her a bitch. There's no bandit or deranged outlaw that could even come close to rattling her cage. Really though, it's her most underrated positive... her maternal instinct, compassion and depth of real human emotion, normally scrubbed out with intense military training, that will save the day. Say you do make it to some Sanctuary and have to start building a society again... you're gonna need more than survivalists aren't you. Think about it.

Let me know if you'd join this team on your quest to apocalypse salvation, I know I would!


Join or not to join... it's not even a question.


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