ByKit Simpson Browne, writer at
Writer-at-large. Bad jokes aplenty. Can be gently prodded on Twitter at @kitsb1
Kit Simpson Browne

When Deadpool producer (and all-around superhero-related go-to-guy over at Fox) Simon Kinberg recently spoke about the forthcoming film's R-Rating, it might've seemed safe to assume that he would highlight the limitations of even an R-Rating when it comes to translating Deadpool to the big screen. After all, the Merc with a Mouth has a tendency to both do terrible, seemingly un-film-able things, and to have terrible, seemingly un-film-able things done back to him in return.

And yet, as Kinberg revealed:

"Deadpool is a hard R...It’s graphic. Nothing is taboo. You either commit to a truly outrageous boundary-pushing kind of movie or you don’t."

Which...opens up a whole new (shockingly graphic) world of possibilities.

Here are five we might just see on screen:

1. Deadpool Will Definitely Decapitate Someone

Or, at the very least, be decapitated himself.

After all, when you have a healing factor that allows you to survive horrifyingly gruesome injuries, it tends to make you pretty easy-going when it comes to disembowelments, stabbings and beheadings...

And, on that note:

2. Terrible, Terrible Things Will Happen to Deadpool

Most likely involving vast quantities of blood, gore, ultra-violence and holes in chests.

And, if we're incredibly lucky, an elephant...


3. There Will Be Swearing. Profuse and Imaginative Swearing...

Now, in the comics, Marvel has traditionally heavily censored Deadpool (along with the rest of his comic-book kin), but in the movie? Deadpool will be free to swear like the saltiest of sailors, and will most likely take full advantage of that fact.

Indeed, given his propensity for breaking the fourth wall, there's even a pretty solid chance we'll see him directly refer to the fact that he can't swear in the vocally obscene fashion.

4. There Will Be Expertly Lit French Unicorn Sex

Or, if it turns out that Ryan Reynolds was lying to us about that, then there'll most likely be the kind of exotic sexual encounter that Deadpool specializes in: the deeply strange and comedic kind!

Including, most likely, this kind of level of insane, cross-cutting genius:

Most likely featuring volcanoes:

And, last but not least?

5. Deadpool's Going to Be Super Mean to Colossus

But...nobody said that's going to go well for him...

From the sounds of one early script draft, though, he'll at least get a few good lines in...

Colossus: "With qualities like yours, you could have joined us, been a super-hero."
Deadpool: "Tell ya what. The day I decide to become a crime-fighting shit-swizzler who rooms with 44 other little whiners at the Neverland mansion of some creepy old bald Heavens-Gate-looking mother-fucker… on that day… I’ll send your shiny, happy ass a friend request. ‘Til then, I’m gonna do what I came here to. Either that or slap the bitch outta you."

Which may or may not make 'Pool feel better after Colossus presumably beats the snot out of him...

What do you think, though?


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