ByWilliam Cloud, writer at
If's there's a fandom, there's a good chance that I'm a part of it. On Instagram: @thewillcloud On Twitter: @thewccloud
William Cloud

So, the year is 2134 or some odd digit, and sadly, I'm not in charge of the world. Shoot, I'm not even in charge of New Jersey, which may very well be the cause of the apocalypse. At least Twinkies are still around...At any rate, all I have is three people to help me survive through desert wastelands, vicious biker gangs, and the occasional coffee shortage. So, here we go, with my survival team to beat the post-apoc world.

Optimus Prime

One part giant robot, one part Mack truck, all parts awesome, Optimus leads the Autobots in their never-ending quest to defend Earth and the universe from the Decepticons..yada yada yada. He'd be both a source for transportation (and if he had the trailer like he did in the original animated shows, lots of space, too) and would be a nearly unstoppable weapon. I mean, the dude's got the whole Gypsy Danger thing going on with double swords and all that. It doesn't hurt that he's got a heart (do robots have hearts?) that's as pure as Captain America's.

Lara Croft

Master bow-woman, hunter, adventure, rock climber, martial artist....I could keep going, but this would take way too long. Lara is one of the most prolific archaeologists to walk the face of the earth (sorry Indy). She has survived in nearly every single environment known to man, and can thrive in even the harshest climates. Couple that with her amazing fighting skills, and she is a post-apocalyptic force to be reckoned with.


No..wait...not this Wilson...he's a volleyball...

This Wilson:

Ain't nothin' like me, 'cept me.
Ain't nothin' like me, 'cept me.

Wade Wilson, aka Deadpool, aka the Greatest-thing-since-sliced-cheese. His name rhymes with "too cool", "Fo' school", " ain't no fool", and "I'm the best at what I do...ool." But I digress. The dude can't die, has killer ninja skills, uses lethal puns on a daily basis, and is a lover of fine Tex-Mex cuisine. He be along just to drive everyone insane with his verbal banter and cheap potty humor. Oh, and did I mention that he can't die? Oh, yeah...and he's a really good pancake cooker, too...

Well, there you have it! The greatest team ever assembled, ready to take on even the worst of those biker gang mutant types...or even a cute little bunny or two. Either way, I'm still getting chimichangas, so it's all good. Hated what you saw here? Well then, check out my Moviepilot page, where I'm sure you'll find enough to fuel your hatred and rage for at least another five seconds.


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