ByJoseph Bolduc, writer at Creators.co

For the first post ever on MP, I have decided to go with something safe and secure.... By taking on a movie from the depths of hell itself.

Now, do not get me wrong, I have been a huge Dungeons and Dragons geek ever since I was a wee lad. The thought of having a movie based upon it sent my heart a-flutter. Then finding out it had Jeremy Irons and Thora Birch cast had me thinking this was the real deal. And Marlon Wayans joining for some light hearted fun.

Yessssssssss! Never mind the fact that my main henceman wears a shade horrible for his complexion.
Yessssssssss! Never mind the fact that my main henceman wears a shade horrible for his complexion.

I bought my tickets and went with a group of friends, gamers all. The fact that I could get most of these folks out of the house on a Friday Night (yes, we went to opening night) was a feat beyond Herculean. The popcorn was bought, as were the bladder busting drinks. Following the trailers, the lights dimmed and the silence was almost palpable.

This was to be a masterpiece!

*watches one full minute*

......or not.

The saving graces of the film were to be the scenes in which Mr. Irons would be hamming it up on screen. It's almost as if they cut him loose and let him do what he chose. That and the then unknown Lee Arenberg playing a dwarf a bit too well. (Of course, he stole the scenes that he was in during the Pirates of the Caribbean films in my opinion)

If I ain't drinking, you sure ain't putting me on a boat! Or is the line shopping? Oh hell.... LINE!
If I ain't drinking, you sure ain't putting me on a boat! Or is the line shopping? Oh hell.... LINE!

The non-saving graces? Well..... I think that there were a bit too many to count. Within 15 minutes, I was starting to question my not bringing any alcohol to slip into my soda. After 45 minutes, I was looking on the floor for some hardened gummy bears that I might slit my wrists with.

But even with the fact that when I walked out with my shell shocked friends, I came to the understanding that I had witnessed something in history that many could not. (Well, judging from the box office records at least....hang on let me check....) THEY MADE A D&D MOVIE!!!

Well, aside from the fact that the movie did almost half of its domestic revenue on opening weekend ($7.2 million out of $15.3 million) it DID open up at #5 overall. Not too shabby....

But, by all that is holy.... the cheese factor in this movie is high. I give it less than one star, but 4.5 out of 5 for the Gouda factor.

Note: There must be something about this movie that grows on you. It has spawned a sequel of sorts, and has been purchased no less than 2 times by yours truly on DVD. And yes, my first copy was stolen.

So if you are looking for a terrific ham fest by a great actor, a Wayans brother, an American Beauty, a Doctor Who was (great one too, in my book), some Riff Raff, a dwarven pirate, and one of the many Jimmy Olsen's in some Superman's past, and a score of others (including some of the most non-elven elves I have been privy to see in bone adorned headpieces) then this might be a good flick for you.

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