DEADPOOL NEEDS YOUR HELP!!
YES, YOU READ THAT RIGHT!
I can't believe I typed those words either but it is true and so many of us are not even aware of why, let me just step in here and lay a few things down for you. I want to start by taking you back to a time when Superhero movies were not 'a dime a dozen' when Marvel was pretty much unknown to the world (unless you were an avid comic book reader) and DC was just the capital of America (Shut up, I'm trying to make a point here) I'm taking you way back in time to before the internet was saturated with peoples selfies, to a time when we weren't even aware of who Kim Kardashian was never mind what she is doing for lunch and to a time when copies of every movie due to come out in the next year were NOT readily available to watch for free at the push of a few buttons. That's right kids, we've travelled back through time to the good ol' fashioned days of the 90's.
Now the 90's were a strange time for kids, if you grew up in them then you will know. Everything and I mean EVERYTHING was brightly coloured. Every TV show had a kind of neon cardboard cut out intro to it. For example one you'll all know is 'The Fresh Prince of Bel Air' and if you don't know what or who The Fresh Prince is, it's basically a story all about how Will Smith's life got flipped, turned upside down. I'd like to take a minute just sit right there and.... Well, watch the intro.
Watched it? All caught up? Ok, so now you know what the 90's was like and you may even be reading this and thinking "Is this idiot going anywhere with this? AND WHAT DOES DEADPOOL HAVE TO DO WITH ANY OF IT?" I'm getting there so hold yer horses kiddos. My point is that if you grew up in the 90's and watched 90's TV you will be used to everything being so bright and colourful that it honestly felt like most of our childhood was spent on some kind of hallucinogenic. Notice though I did say "most" not "all"? I said "most of our childhood" there because there was the other side of the coin and that other side of the coin was our 90's superhero movies. Now let's pretend for a second the real cheesy ones don't exist, because in the 90's they sure did crap out some crap that really was..... well, crap! I'm not talking Batman & Robin (Why does this movie keep cropping up in my articles?) here or Batman Forever. No, I'm talking about those movies that came out and were so dark and gritty that our supposed "heroes" gave us nightmares, hell, they gave the parents nightmares! (Did I just quote Jurassic World in a superhero movies article? Probably not a good idea!) I'm talking movies like Spawn, Blade and The Crow, movies so gore-tastically great and completely contrasting to everything else out in the 90's it's no wonder we became so confused and messed up. I wasn't even sure my parents understood that these movies were not for children's eyes. Those movies that were as what the American's call rated R! Us British are a little more simple in our movie ratings though and we just go with the age groups, over here they'd be called an 18.
Now most of these movies were also released in cinemas and after doing a little research, I find out that none of them were really hugely successful by today's standards but they still did pretty well considering that they were R rated superhero/anti-hero movies released to the cinema where kids couldn't get a chance to see them and remember we didn't have access to Google at every juncture we just had a stick and a hoop and THAT'S IT! This is the 90's though and cinema is huge at the moment, everyone and their Mum went to see practically every movie that came out and if we were too young for the movies then we waited about two years for the VHS release and went to a place called a video store, there was once a glorious place called Blockbuster Video that held a library of movies that you could rent (kinda like if Netflix was a place) As long as you had an adult with you to pretend to be your Dad and rent the R Rated/18 movies for you.
Now let's disperse with the time travel stuff because we really need to get back to the future (Aahhhhh, so that's why it's called that. Makes sense now!) We return safely and are in the modern day and age, everyone has a My Party Space Face Twiddle account, movies can be downloaded with voice commands before they're even finished being made and the cinemas are charging the cost of a small helicopter to get in. The only options the movie studios have these days is to make their movies as widely and commercially acceptable as possible, for example take a look at Terminator: Genisys (seriously that movie is out now has nobody realised that spelling mistake?) That is rated 12a or PG13 which is basically the family friendly ratings, sure there will be some fights, some guns, some explosions but we promise we won't have any blood, boobies or bad words so that you can bring your kids along and we can dive into out vault full of pennies like Scrooge McDuck (Another 90's reference). Well what a crock of f*cking sh*t that m*thaf*ckin b*llsh*t is! F*CK CENSORSHIP! I WANT A GODDAMN BADASS MOVIE!!
And that brings us back to Deadpool, we all know the movie is coming early next year. We've all watched Ryan Reynolds promote the absolute sh*t out of it through any means necessary and we are all very excited for it and this is my point here, Deadpool needs your help. This movie will go nowhere if we don't all get up off our asses (not censoring that word, it's not that sweary) The studio has made a very brave and brilliant decision to keep the Deadpool movie what it is truly meant to be and it is truly meant to be R rated. The violence should be violent, the swearing should be f*cking sweary and the boobies... Well, if there's boobies in there then it's just an added bonus. I'm sure you're all thinking "Well, yeah I'm a Deadpool fan, I'm definitely going to see this movie!" and that is great and I applaud you for that but take two or three friends, go see it twice and get their friends to go twice too, with two other friends. Ryan Reynolds has actually put a lot in to make this the movie that the fans have always wanted and the reason I stand so passionately behind this decision is for the fact that he has already said that if the studio greenlit a sequel then he is definitely on board. He doesn't want to be any other superhero ever again and quite rightly so, he had his chance and it didn't work out so well in the past but thanks to time travel and Wolverine, we can have Deadpool again and have him the way he was always meant to be and not like...... Well, this.
I stand for this cause here and now because of one movie that came out recently, it's a comic book movie and it's probably one of the greatest movies that came out in the past few years. Completely underrated, was a flop at the cinema and was rated R/18. After the financial bust that it was the DVD and Blu-Ray release put the movie on the map and everyone started appealing for a sequel to be made and this went on for about 2 years before the director himself had to step up and say to the fans "It's not gonna happen, let it die!" and that is how we've never saw Kurl Urban as Dredd ever again! I don't want Deadpool to be that movie we are fighting for after it's too late. Let's all start banding in together and making sure that we share the Deadpool news when we read it, make sure we share clips, previews, pictures and anything else. Hell, I'm gonna be putting a fake moustache on my 9 year old kid so he can see it too. The power of the internet got us this movie in the first place and the power of the internet shall let it continue but what you must remember is, with great power comes great irresponsibility! Seriously though, don't watch this movie on a pirate copy or torrent or whatever drugs you crazy kids are doing these days. Get up, go to the cinema, get some chimichangas and bring all your friends and make sure that Deadpool doesn't end up dead like Dredd!!
And just in case you haven't seen the test footage or want to see it again.
I am The Dame
Trevor I'm pregnant
Go f*ck yourself!