So we all know who Indiana Jones is. Even if you've been too busy to watch his films, (what have you been doing with your life?) you have most definitely heard of this whip wielding and fedora wearing action adventure hero at some point in your life. But, did you know that Indiana Jones is actually not so bright? That he might be one of the dumbest characters in all of the Indiana Jones films? Did it ever cross your thoughts that Indy could have defeated Hitler and his Nazis a number of times in a number of different ways? No? Well you're going to learn. So stick around and count down the top 5 ways Indy could have and SHOULD have defeated the Nazis once and for all.
The Ark of The Covenant
Remember the Ark?
Yeah, this thing. It could have been the determining factor of Indy's victory. Let us go over the uses for the Ark that Indy himself never thought of.
But, first, to recap what happened at the end of Raiders. After going back and forth between Indy and the Nazi Germans, the Ark ended up in the bad guys hands, where they were seemingly prepared to open it. Only the Ark doesn't work for Evil. So it did this to them.
Yeah, so after the bad guys were killed by the Ark, Indy and Marion took it to the government (which is never a good thing to do) in which case it ended up in a warehouse.
So my first point is that Indy should never have taken it to the government. He should have done one of two things.
1. Leave it there, give an anonymous tip to the Nazis about where it's located. When they come to collect, they will do one of two things. A. they will open it up themselves and be killed by it, again in a large number. Or B. they will bring it back to Hitler, unopened, and when Adolf opens it, BAM. You've successfully taken out the Nazis leader.
2. Or skip 1. and be more direct and ship it to Hitler yourself.
You see, the Ark's cover would have simply dropped down back on itself time and time again after dismantling the bad guys. So Indy COULD have taken the Nazis down by killing off the soldiers in consistent groups. Or let the guy in charge open it up himself! Whoever is with him at the time, which would most likely be his partners in crime, would also get annihilated as well.
Now the Sequel to Raiders was 'Temple of Doom', which didn't involve the Nazis. So we skip to the third installment in the trilogy: 'The Last Crusade'.
The Holy Grail
Again, very similar to Raiders, the diary leading to the location of the Holy Grail goes back and forth between Indy and the bad guys until eventually the bad guys get it and end up there first. But it doesn't matter because they force Indy to solve the puzzle traps after shooting his Father, who has only minutes to live. Indy eventually solves the traps and he, along with the bad guys, must choose the one TRUE Grail.
So the bad guys pick the wrong one and Donovan dies a horrible death.
So now Indy is left to choose from a variety, the one true Grail. Fortunately he does and now they can save his father and the power of the grail also causes all the enemy soldiers to surrender as well out of fear. So Indy has everything set to do the following. Oh and one thing, Indy cannot take the true Grail past the seal or the entire place will crumble.
1. Before leaving the room with all the Grail's, make sure to grab a few fake ones and throw em in the satchel that Indy is always wearing. Continue and use the genuine Grail to heal Indy's father and then put it back. BUT, since in the film, Elsa is greedy and they lose the true Grail and a bunch of people die, high tail it out of there ASAP.
2. When you get a chance, mail one of the fake grail's to Hitler. As Hitler drinks from it and dies you can be riding off into the sunset hoping you will never have a horrendous fourth movie in your franchise. (Kingdom of the Crystal Skull).
3. Also you could just shoot him at POINT BLANK RANGE when you meet him in person!!!
Some would argue that the bad guys would then find the Grail and win because Indy would not be there to stop them. But the bad guys would have taken it past the seal and died. Also the Grail still didn't have the power of resurrecting the dead. It could only preserve the living. Meanwhile Indy defeated the Nazis with an honorable death. But I know what you're thinking, "Well then Indy wouldn't be there to stop the Russians form getting the Skull in the next movie." Well sorry to crush your hopes and dreams, but the Russian lady ended up getting killed BY the Skull without Indy. So really nothing bad would have happened. In fact, the Russians probably never would have even found the Skull without Indy being there to constantly help them out.
So there you go. Are you disappointed in your Fedora donning hero? Was there anything that I missed? Let us know in the Comments below or write your own article about the subject. Also following would automatically earn you a "Thank you."