ByNeil Shah, writer at
Time to make the chimi-friggin'-changas!
Neil Shah

Hollywood special effects are catching up to the imagination of great comic book writers. CGI and other techniques have been used quite effectively to portray the superpowers these heroes might exhibit. However, some powers will not be shown on any movies or TV shows, live-action or animated. You may be wondering: "Why?". That's because some of the powers given to heroes like Superman are just so dumb, that they'll just be made fun of, if ever they're shown on TV or in the movies. Without further ado, let us begin:

3. Superman has the ability to shoot tiny Supermen from his fingers.

Superman already has more powers than entire rival comic universes combined: flying, X-ray vision, super strength...

But, wait, what is this?

Up,up, and away...little me.
Up,up, and away...little me.

Yup. This was among the many talents of Superman. "In this classic story from 1958, Superman runs into a space ship that explodes in his face when he touches it, granting him the ability to project miniature Super-replicas to do his bidding. Superman's mini-mes have the same powers as he does, but unfortunately they can't use said powers at the same time, leaving him helpless and resentful of his own finger-children."

Is that right? Superman seems jealous...
Is that right? Superman seems jealous...

Superman became so jealous of these little imps, that at one point, he actually tries to kill them with Kryptonite:

This, hilariously, backfires when the Kryptonite ends up in the hands of criminals who catapult it right back at Superman. Ironically, the "mini-me" version of Superman sacrifices itself in order to save Superman's life, losing this power.

2. Magneto's "Magnetic Personality".

Magneto, the X-Men's favorite genocidal terrorist, has the ability to control metal. With a little thought and creativity on the part of the writers, his ability to control metal gets awesome in a hurry: not only can he do the cool stuff, like twisting the Eiffel Tower into a pretzel, he can also manipulate the iron in your blood to instantly render you unconscious. That's how you write a superpower. But as always, Magneto was given a power that was deemed too stupid to be shown on the big screen.

It's revealed that Magneto is able to control other people's minds through his, seemingly, "magnetic personality". 50 years after this issue, Magneto seems to have forgotten his ability to do this or did he just quit, knowing he wasn't very good at it?

Another early issue shows Magneto projecting a psychic ghost of himself to battle Professor X in the astral plane. Just...HOW?! What does this have do with magnets or his magnetic ability?

1. And the worst of them all: Superman's ability for Super-Ventriloquism?!

Unlike Superman's dwarf-creating power, super-ventriloquism lasted more than one issue -- it was a staple of Superman stories for decades. Shockingly, he used this power to be a complete butt. ( I can't exactly write the OTHER word used for butt).

You don't want to see what he does to get Jimmy to stop saying "bae."
You don't want to see what he does to get Jimmy to stop saying "bae."

How many times can you think of where being really, really good at throwing your voice would come in handy? In the world of Superman, that number was, apparently, more than zero. His dog, Krypto, also had the same power as well, so obviously Superman wanted to get him involved in this action:


Here, he is shown projecting his voice from space:

Don't show this panel to Neil deGrasse Tyson!
Don't show this panel to Neil deGrasse Tyson!

Tragically, Superman lost this ability when DC rebooted their entire line of comics.

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Source: Cracked


Which power did you find to be the dumbest?


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