BySafe Hans, writer at
You're in Safe Hans
Safe Hans

Details revolving around the upcoming Suicide Squad have come to light, revealing a substantial amount more about the much anticipated DC Comic and Warner Bros action movie. The folks over at the ever-reliable Hans Honest News have received a scoop from anonymous sources regarding the plot of the film. But before we dive into the nitty-gritty of the story, we would like to give a spoiler warning ....(obviously)

  • The main plot of the film will deal with Killer-Croc and his struggle to deal with body issues and how this unites the squad to work together to help Croc raise his self esteem and conquer his anxieties before releasing him back into his natural habitat.
  • Boomerang will be thwarted in the opening credits of the film by his own boomerang having failed to realize that a boomerang returns to the direction from whence it came.
  • Joker will disguise him self as a cast member of L.A Ink in order to evade capture from the authorities (hence his ridiculous tattoos).
  • All of Jared Leto's dialogue has been dubbed over by sound clips of Heath Ledgers performance from The Dark Knight leading to some very bemusing scenes when he interacts with other characters.
  • 90% of the run time will be in slow motion footage of Margot Robbie doing naked gymnastics while the remaining 10 % of screen time will be close up's of Will Smith face looking menacing and slightly befuddled.
  • Rick Flagg has undergone a revamping for the movie and has been renamed Rick Fagg and will dress in rainbow colored attire in an effort to appeal to the LGBT community.
  • At the culmination of the film everyone commits mass suicide by drinking bleach after realizing that their lives are meaningless and that they are but mere pawns in the game of life.

From these details we see that director David Ayer is sticking very close to the comic origins of the squad. In my humble opinion I believe he is playing it a tad too safe by sticking so close to the original source material and I myself would rather a more drastic take with some unnecessary ludicrous plot points dumped in for no apparent reason but from the leaked information gathered I fear we are from getting the movie we as fans want and deserve.

This has been Hans Honest News, If you have any thoughts on the movie make sure to voice your opinion in the comment section below ,stayed tuned for more developments and as always go fuck yourself San Diego.


Latest from our Creators