We all have bad habits. Things we want to keep in the past and would rather our friends not know about us. But,Batmanis better than us, right? He's a master of martial arts, criminology, a world class detective and apparently... a real jack-ass...
It's time to rifle through Batman's dirty laundry and shake some skeletons out of his closet and see what turns up.
Check out this list of the Dark Knight's embarrassingly bad habits, some of which he has managed to beat.
Let's count down five of Batman's most ill-advised habits, and I'm sure you have a few Bad Batman Habits of your own to contribute in the comments.
5. BATMAN'S CHAIN SMOKING HABIT
In the modern comics, Batman is in tip-top shape. But it was not always that way. In his earliest appearances he was constantly smoking a tobacco pipe, fitting in time to solve murder cases when he was bored, or not too busy smoking.
Batman/Bruce Wayne loved a good puff back in the day.
Sometimes, when he was not busy smoking, he would even consider solving a case or two. Because he had "nothing else to do."
3. BATMAN USED GUNS
It is no secret that Batman used guns in his first year as a masked-dual-identity-vigilante. But that was swiftly changed when theDCstaff realized how much children loved Batman. Seeing it as a bad example, they did away with the gun-power. Though the present-day Batman has used guns a time or two, it usually gets retconned away at the blink of a Batarang.
I love the scene where Batman shoots at some explosives as a distraction. "Well here goes. I hope I don't get blown up." Way to use your that impressive brain of yours, Batman.
3. BATMAN KEPT KILLING PEOPLE
The cavalier attitude of Batman in his first year as the Dark Knight resulted in significant incidental deaths. Knocking people out of high-rise windows, off platforms in chemical factories, swinging into a dude's neck with his foot resulting in a broken neck - not to mention hanging one of Hugo Strange's Monster Men in 'Batman #1'.
In 'Detective Comics #27,' Batman shoves a man over a railing into an acid tank.
In 'Detective Comics #30,' Batman swings toward a bad guy with his head out of a window, his foot directly colliding with the unfortunate man's neck. A sickening "*SNAP*" highlights Batman's brutal treatment of the criminal.
On the previous page, he fires a mounted machine gun at the bad guy's van, commenting, "Much as I hate to take human life, I'm afraid this time it's necessary!"
If you thought that Batman executing a criminal was bad, just wait...
In 'Detective Comics #39,' Batman pushes a giant idol onto a whole mess of bad guys with no remorse, and he had no decent reason for doing it in the first place.
Unlike in the[Batman: Arkham Series](tag:2586475)[Batman: Arkham Series](tag:2586475) video games, these guys are not just resting their eyes for a really long time.
2. BATMAN WAS A DRUG ADDICT
In 'Legends of the Dark Knight #16-20,' Batman gets hooked on the super-steroid drug, 'Venom.' The same drug that villainous Bane gets addicted to years later.
After failing to save the life of a young girl trapped underwater by a giant boulder, Batman is convinced he needs to get stronger. Failing to surpass his limits in weightlifting, he turns to a new drug designed by a madman chemist that wants to build his own mindless army of super-soldiers, and guess what? He wants to recruit Batman, of course. Yeah, he also ends up being the villain Sherlock. Way to use that Bat-brain of yours again, World's Best Detective.
The Dark Knight eventually triumphs, but not before becoming a deranged addict, sending Alfred packing and refusing to read the newspaper.
Batman goes to his dealer...
An overly aggressive and out of balance Bruce sends his trusty butler and best friend, Alfred, packing.
'Legends of the Dark Knight #18 (1991)' has the infamous cover of a strung-out Bruce Wayne. In this issue, he comes to his senses and has Alfred lock him in the Batcave for a month in a self-imposed detox.
And in the next issue - after Batman kicks his habit - he fights a shark on one of my favorite Batman covers of all time.
Proving to kids that they don't need drugs to fight crime or to help beat up innocent sea creatures!
Okay, some of that stuff was a little bit crazy, but now it's time to get nuts...
1. BATMAN IS BATBALLS CRAZY
In 'World Finest Comics #153 (1965),' Batman becomes convinced that Superman killed his father, slaps Robin for DARING to question his insane crusade against Superman, and teams up with Lex Luthor (after revealing he is secretly Bruce Wayne) to finally take down Superman.
Sounds crazy to you?
Well, it was.
The story was part of DC's line of 'Imaginary Stories.' Whatever the hell that meant. Stories that were made up for comic books, but never really happened in those comic books? You know, like every comic book story, ever.
Take a look at the comic pages yourself to see how nutty Batman was going...
Batman is convinced Superman killed his dad! He must get revenge, but not before he vandalizes a giant picture of Superman - the fiend!
Why he bothered to get a near life-sized portrait of Superman to tear up with a knife when he could have been busy getting revenge on his friend... I don't know. But, Bruce Wayne is crazy and has loads of money, so he can do whatever the heck he wants.
While it is highly unlikely Batman will use any of the bizarre tactics from 'World's Finest #153' in Batman v Superman, the idea that he just might, makes me laugh alone.
"I'll end Superman's career forever," yells an angry Batman to a picture of his parents on the wall. Yeah, sure, yelling at pictures will get the job done, you nutcase!
After his confrontation with Robin, Batman then hypnotizes him (*cough* brainwashes *cough*) to make him forget their conversation... right before dashing off like a lunatic to shoot Superman with an air rifle gun on the next page. Remember, Batman was NOT on drugs in this story - that was a different issue.
Batman puts his sniper skills to the test, tagging Superman with a radioactive tracer round.
Superman picks up an odd sound, but otherwise has no idea that his best friend just fired a rifle at him. Some friend Batman is!
Later in the story, Batman knocks out Superman with a Kryptonite Batarang (as you do to good friends), putting a quick end to the former World's Finest team. It's dopey, but still kind of cool.
The story ends with Batman accidentally finding out - through not using his famous detective skills whatsoever - that Lex Luthor was the one who really killed his father. DOH!
The Worlds Greatest Jack-Ass triumphs again...
Whoops! Sorry about that, old chum.
"I've taken you down with my Kryptonite Batarang, and now I must confess my secret identity to your worst enemy - who is now my new best friend!"
I hope you had as much fun reading this post as I did writing it, it took me ages as I could not stop laughing at some of these crazy panels.