ByMatthew Clancy, writer at
twitter: matthewdclancy
Matthew Clancy

I was thinking earlier about this thing that I do, called the "movie test." I'm happily in a long term relationship right now, but when I was dating I would always give people this test to see if they would last with me. If movies are as important to you as they are to me, then you will completely understand where I am coming from. So here it is:

Facts about you: You are a movie geek. You are a hard core movie lover of whatever genre you love. You stalk move blogs, movie news and you don't miss an opening night. In fact, you have a full blown party for opening nights. You gather your fellow geeks and watch the first four movies in the franchise, then you can't contain your nerd attack anymore and you all go watch the new movie. Best. Night. Ever.

Facts about the person you are dating: You know he, or she is cute. They are interested in you for whatever reason. They have a brother and they work in finance and they love to travel. bla.blabla. You know NOTHING about their movie tastes!

So this is what ends up happening. You've gone on a few dates and you can't take it anymore. You have to put them to your movie test to see if you need to waste anymore time with this person or not. So you text them and you're like "Hey, why don't you just come here for a movie night instead of us going out tonight?" And YES. It has to be at your apartment because then you can control the lighting, the sound, etc. Going somewhere else for a movie is a wild card, no thanks. So he/she/they answer "Sure I'll come over for a movie, you pick."

SCORE!!! They let us pick. Game on mofucka. Game on. Little does this poor unfortuante soul know that the fate of their relationship with you is now in the hands of how they act and react to the movie binge you two are about to do.

Let the games commence.

This, for myself, has gone a few different ways.

1. The person has immediately declined the movies that I have picked. COUGH, what!? Owww, my stomach hurts buddy sorry. Lets call it an early night and talk NEVER, BYE!

2. The person claims they have seen these movies a hundered times, but "loves them and wants to watch them anway." I know this is an empty gesture but I let it play out. This one survives the night, but the relationship never lasts.

3. The person that has NEVER seen it but its SO excited to see the movie. I love this one's enthusiasm. They get to see these movies for the first time, I can relish in their reactions to the outrageous movie I am showing them. A win for the evening. Also doesn't last though usually.

4. The person is super silent when you show them the movie collection, and you get nervous. you sit there thinking, why aren't they responding? Whats wrong!? They slowly make eye contact with you and are like, ARE YOU KIDDING THESE ARE MY FAVORITE MOVIES!!!!!! LETS BINGE WATCh THEM ALL, GO!!!. This ladies and gentlefolk is the keeper.

Can you guess what franchises are my movie test? Yes I have two, and they must pass both. It is Resident Evil and Alien. ALL of them. That's eleven movies in total lol. PHEW! You have your work cut out for you lol.

Do you do the movie test? What are your movies?


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