Jurassic World opened in June, and — judging by the incredible success of that first weekend alone — it seems everyone and their grandmother went to see it, multiple times. The film proceeded to trample all over the other two big money makers of the year so far, Avengers: Age of Ultron and Furious 7, and is currently sitting in the number four spot for highest grossing movie of all time. Apparently we really love nostalgia and dinosaurs.
However, Jurassic World's success hasn't let it escape criticism. Most notably, Bryce Dallas Howard's character, Claire, drew a lot of attention due to her seeming conformation to outdated feminine tropes. These traditional stereotypes most obviously manifested in the fact that — despite being chased all around the jungles of Isla Nublar by a viciously clever dino-hybrid — not once did she remove her stiletto heels. This move has divided audiences, with some saying it is in fact a "win" for feminism due to Claire doing exactly what she wanted (i.e. rocking those goddamn impractical heels), while others saw it as irrational and furthering harmful and outdated gender stereotypes.
It is no doubt a good thing that gender stereotyping and the portrayal of women in cinema is being more candidly discussed, but, as with many of life's problems, it's also good to view it with a good sense of humor. With that in mind, XVP Comedy took it upon themselves to make a video featuring every single character in the Jurassic Park movies wearing heels. That's right, we're talking...
Dr. Ellie Sattler (Laura Dern) scurrying up the hill in purple sequined pumps
Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jeff Goldblum) strutting his stuff...
And Robert Muldon (Bob Peck) picking the best pose possible to show off his leopard print stilettos
What is actually more lethal, a Velociraptor claw or a 6" stiletto heel?
Well, I guess if they're all in heels the decrease in speed balances out, right?
So, who wore them better?
My personal favorite, the mosquito with pink heels on the ends of each of its legs
And Grandma T-Rex has found some pumps befitting her illustrious age
What do you think?
You can check out the full XVP Comedy video below: