In another awe-inspiring tale of Hollywood sucker-punching us with movies about utter randomness, Sony Pictures Animation was recently crowned victorious in a three party tug-of-war for a movie pitch about Emojis, the little yellow round headed symbols that are crazy popular in messaging and social media.
Yes... Emojis. Winning the deal - which will cost, according to Deadline, near seven figures - Sony Animation beat off Warner Bros. and Paramount to secure the movie pitch from Kung Fu Panda: Secrets of the Masters director Anthony Leondis, who is on co-writing duty with Eric Siegel (Men at Work).
Despite how much this news, and the backhand of negative emotions you may feel, stings, know that Emoji are completely in the public domain. Sony won't have to pay a single licensing fee on the image rights, so the movie giants could end up :-D to the bank, as we all gaze wistfully from our windows, contemplating... why?
And, Deadline has also heard that another Emoji based pitch will be hitting the shop floor soon, so expect these little critters to be around for some time to come.
What Could Be Next?!
With that news in our pockets, it's clear to see that it truly is anybody's game when it comes to getting ideas green lit. From Battleships to Pixels, so many honestly crazy ideas are starting to infiltrate Hollywood. So... what could be in the cards for the next few years?
Come with me as I speculate wildly:
Bread: The Movie
Tagline: Wholemeal Is A Raw Deal In The Toast-Apocalypse
After a monumental cataclysm, where a malevolent yeast ate 75% of the world's population, one scientist wants to relive a lost youth spent munching peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.
Somehow calming the evil yeast, he creates the world's only loaf of bread - which eventually goes rogue, slaying his family and setting off a terrible set of events that only he and has crack team of sentient ducks will be able to stop. Will you be ready for a non-stop, action packed race around the world as Tom Cruise takes on a loaf of bread?
Pogs: The Movie
Tagline: The Only Slam You'll Need This Summer
In a world where the ancient game of Pogs decides global supremacy, an ex-tournament whizz-kid is dragged back into the battle for total domination after his family is kidnapped by an evil CEO of the world's biggest energy company, intent on slamming the world back into an eternal ice age for financial gain.
But the whizz-kid gets more than he bargained for when he learns the CEO is actually the leader of a dying race of aliens from the Kylar Sector in Quadrant 9, who plan to take Earth as their own.
Faced with the ultimate choice, the fate of either his family or the whole world rests in Asa Butterfield's hands.
Scrabble: The Movie
Tagline: Will You Spare A P For Panic?
After a crack squad of guns for hire steal all the J, Q, X and Z tiles from every Scrabble board on the planet, 5 bored and suitably pissed librarians attempt to pull off the most daring heist in history - to free the high scoring consonants from the clutches of the person known only as the Colloquialism King.
Will Jason Statham and friends be quixotic Wagyu for the slaughter, or quickly exorcize the fears of a world filled with lackluster Scrabble games? Co-starring Morgan Freeman as the Voice of the Board.
We can all laugh, but an Emoji film will soon be out in the wild whether we like it or not. The only question is... where will you be when it releases?