How do you review a movie where most of the dialogue is random yellow pill people yelling at each other in their own language? It's extremely hard and I highly doubt I'm up for this...but oh well here I go.
Brief Spoiler Free Summary
So the minions are a race of beings that live to serve the baddest, meanest and most evil of beings and have existed throughout time. Eventually however they run out of masters and live in isolation. However three minions decide to leave their home and go out looking for a new master.
Oh boy. First up is the Minions. My god I haven't seen anything this unfunny since "That's My Boy" but no this movie proves that just because a movie has bright and "funny" visuals doesn't make it funny. The minions can't even get old, they got old in "Despicable Me" and yet they're still trying to push these yellow idiots down our throats. The main three minions are Keven, Stuart and Bob. Kevin is the leader, Stuart is the musician and Bob is the kid. That's their characters, well the closest they have to characters at least. I hated every scene these three were in...which you know is basically the entire movie.
Scarlet Overkill (Sandra Bullock) and her husband Herb Overkill (Jon Hamm) however are hilarious and that's my only compliment for this movie. These two characters are freaking hilarious together and are one of the three funny characters in the movie. These two steal any scene they're in...although to be fair that's not hard since the main characters are Rabbids from "Rabbid Invasion" oh wait no I'm sorry the minions.
The only other characters in this movie that are worth mentioning are the family that is seen in the trailer driving the minions to villain con and most of them are so unfunny it's borderline cringy. However the father of the family (Michael Keaton) is beyond funny and is the last funny character of the movie. I can't say too much about him though as it'd give away the plot.
You'd think at least the animation would be good, but to be honest most of the animation in the movie is just...meh at best. To be fair though the "Despicable Me" films weren't great in the animation department. The only cool things to look at in those movies were the over the top vehicles the main characters would use and the gadgets. But while in those movies they'res lots of that in "Minions" there is barely any of it at all! Also the weird slenderman design for the human characters that appears throughout the "Despicable Me" franchise returns and it's as weird as ever.
Literally almost everything. There is almost nothing funny about this movie besides the three characters I mentioned above. The animation is meh, the minions are terrible and the jokes don't work! Yes we get it the minions are dumb and can't speak any language, you can't make that joke into a feature length film dammit! It doesn't work like that.
Do NOT see this movie, whatever you do don't watch it. Almost nothing is good in this movie, literally almost NOTHING is good in this movie...HOW DO YOU DO THAT? Ugh...well guys that was a blast watching and reviewing this movie.
Also in between each review I'll post a blog that won't be a review but will be about movies as you've probably noticed due to the found footage blog and the "Paranormal Activity" blog. So check back soon for that.