Film 1 in a new feature in my movie reviews I’m calling “Random Movie Roulette” is 2008’s “Bronson”. This film looks at the life of Michael Gordon Peterson, better known as Charles Bronson. Born into a respectable middle-class family, Peterson would become one of the United Kingdom’s most dangerous criminals, and is known for having spent almost his entire adult life in solitary confinement. Right of the bat, the first thing I want to talk about is Tom Hardy’s performance. He has just become one of my favourite actors because of this. Today we know Tom as the new Mad Max and Bane in The Dark Knight Rises. I was slightly confused as to why Bronson decides to fight several policemen naked covered in paint. Was it meant to be war paint as he called it? Another thing that confused me was the scene which had all the loonies dancing to “It’s a Sin” by The Pet Shop Boys. I didn’t know that they were allowed to have a disco. I just dubbed that scene “weird”. Apart from that, the rest of the film was really fun to watch. I would say I recommend this but it is only for those who can handle brutal fight scenes. And Tom Hardy naked fighting policemen. For those interested, there is one Nicolas Windng Refn film in the “1001 Films to See Before You Die” challenge in 2011’s “Drive” which I will review at a later date. Fun Fact of the Film – Charles Bronson has seen this film and called it, “theatrical, creative, and brilliant”. He also praised Tom Hardy for his portrayal calling him “Britain’s Number One Actor”. The only things he didn’t like was the implied distance between him and his father and the portrayal of his uncle, Paul Edmunds as “a bit of a ponce”. If you have seen this film then let me know what you thought of it in the comments. Here is what I had to say while watching 2008’s “Bronson”
Film – Bronson
Year – 2008
Director – Nicolas Winding Refn
Written by – Brock Nornam Brock & Nicolas Windng Refn
Staring – Tom Hardy, Kelly Adams, Luing Andrews
IMDb Rating – 7.1/10
My Rating – 7.4/10
Length – 92 min (1h 32min)
Genre – Action, Biography, Crime
We open with a Bronson monologue
Why is Bronson naked in a cage?
And why is he covered in oil and blood?
Stop staring at me!!
Flashback to Bronson growing up
Bronson justed knocked out a teacher with a table
Bronson’s first job was working in a fish n chip shop
And now he’s beating up police
Well… That policeman no longer has an ear
Bronson tells us about the post office he robbed making about £56 and ended up with 7 years in prison
Why is Bronson in a suit wearing white face paint telling jokes?
His stand up routine reminds me on Al Murray
Prison is like a hotel?!?
I’m getting dizzy
The police are making Bronson work a sewing machine
Well… That’ll teach him to attack policemen
Bronson’s gets a warm welcome by a few prisoners
Now Bronson’s a teaboy
What’s Cliff Richard doing here?
Tea with no milk or sugar?
He compliments Bronson’s arms before leaving
Back to the stand up and Bronson says he’s being released on parole
Shout out to The Sun newspaper
Sounds like singing you hear at a football game
Now Bronson is in The Funny Farm
Did he just shit in his own hand?
You can’t use shit a shaving cream
That’s the quickest knockout drug I’ve ever seen
Someone comes up to Bronson saying the police are scared of him
Fancy beating up a 9-year old girl?
Pet Shop Boys? Why are they playing in The Funny Farm? And why play “It’s a Sin”?
Well.. That was weird
“Loonies are great… but they are loony”
Back with the man with the cardigan who wiggles his finger at him while listening to classical music
Bronson then chokes the man with a tie
Back to the stand up with Bronson doing his best 2-Face impression
26 years and he hasn’t killed anyone
Why is he wearing David Bowie’s make-up?
Time for Charlie vs Broadmoor
Bronson says The Queen has had enough and labelled him “Sane”
He’s been let out and reunited with his parents
Bronson wants to know where all his childhood belongings are
Why is all my stuff in Lutton?
Bronson then heads to Lutton to find Uncle Jack
Locked? Gate? Fuck that! I’ll walk around
Does Uncle Jack think he’s Hugh Heffner?
So… He has woman and men dressed as women
One woman says kissing his mustache would be like kissing a fanny
Jack says Bronson is staying for a while
Bronson then visits Cliff Richard who now owns a strip club
Cliff tells Bronson get a fighting sounding name
He wants to be Charlton Heston
Cliff comes up with Charlie Bronson
Time for a strip tease
I say tease all she’s wearing is tights
Can you tell I’ve been in a few fights
She gets turned on my big muscles
Time for an underground fist fight in a cow shed
The ultimate humiliation – PISS ON HIM
All that for £20
Time for more fights – This ones a handicap match
Why do the punches have lazer gun effects
Now it’s Bronson vs a ravid dog
Back home and Bronson says he loves the girl he’s been staying with
Who the fuck is Bryan?
Thanks for the £1000 ring
Bronson proposes to this girl but she says no as she’s marrying Bryan
And she’s kicked him out of the flat
And he’s back in prison after 69 days
All I did was bring you some books and now I’m being held hostage
Brosnon tells the owner that he’s holding Andy Love hostage for a ransom
He can have anything he wants – He tells him to fuck off
Bronson gets naked and rubs himself in some form of cream
After an ass kicking, Owner asks Bronson what he wants
Owner threatens to kill Bronson if he keeps on behaving in the way he does
After some time, Bronson is doing some artwork
An art teacher tells him to find something in his art that he doesn’t have already
They let him draw in his cell
These drawings are a bit… odd
Present for you Owner – It’s one of my drawings
This art teacher is a bit flamboyant
And the art teacher is out for the count
Back to the stand up and everyone seemed to love it
Well… That explains why he was all black at the start of the film
Bronson wants music
He wanted music and he got it
Is he doing performance art?
Now he’s gagged the art teacher with an apple and painted his face
I’m slightly confused about what’s happening
Bronson’s had enough fun – Now it’s time to fight
The last thing I want to see is a slow motion swinging cock and balls
The films ends by saying the real Bronson is still in prison