Fantasy Football has become a phenomenon in recent years. People all over the country flock to their computers near the end of every summer to begin researching depth charts, sleepers, bye weeks and matchups. Then, throughout the entire NFL season, they (Or should I say ‘we’) remain glued to those computers as they watch their teams succeed gloriously or fail miserably.
But what if the characters from our favorite football movies jumped into that draft pool this year? What if, instead of Seattle Seahawks and New England Patriots, we picked Washington Sentinels and Permian Panthers? Now there’s a league I’d like to play in!
I’ve gone ahead and put together the first round of a mock draft consisting entirely of characters from football movies.
This will be an 8-team league with no individual defensive players, so don’t go looking for Gerry Bertier or Bobby Boucher. Also, I am aware that some characters are based on real people but they will still be included. Without further adieu, I give you the 2015 Fantasy Football Movie Draft:
With the first pick in the 2015 Fantasy Football Movie draft, Jamaal About Dat Bass selects...
Earl Megget - Running Back - The Longest Yard
No surprise here as the speedy half back is clearly the number one option on offense for the Mean Machine. Megget will not only get nearly all of the carries but he is also a pass-catching threat out of the backfield. His unbelievable allusiveness and blinding speed make him a dangerous weapon and a player that you can build your fantasy team around. Did I mention he’s fast? I mean, he’s really fast. He’s so fast that he makes other fast people look... not fast.
With the second pick, My Favorite Marshawn selects...
Boobie Miles - Running Back - Friday Night Lights
There are obvious concerns regarding his health here, but barring any injuries Miles is second to none when it comes to raw talent. He has everything you could ask for from a Running Back: speed, power and agility. He’s an every down back that will certainly put up some numbers if he can stay on the field. This is certainly a high-risk, high-reward pick.
With the third pick, Password is Taco selects...
Deacon Moss - Wide Receiver - The Longest Yard
The top of the Running Back class is very thin, so expect some very talented Wide Receivers to go early. Moss is the cream of the crop when it comes to receivers. He’s a big target for one of the best fictional Quarterbacks out there, so you know there will be some touchdowns to be scored. Moss’ combination of size, speed and athleticism make him a prototypical wideout and a fantasy football game changer. His only downside is his attitude, which could put him on the sideline from time to time.
With the fourth pick, It’s Mike Vick in a Box selects...
Rod Tidwell - Wide Receiver - Jerry Maguire
Once Moss goes, expect the Wide Receiver flood gates to open. Teams will want to grab one of the top guys at the position and Tidwell definitely fits the bill. There have been some concerns regarding his recent contract dispute but it seems as if that has all been cleared up now. Tidwell is certainly a first round talent and will put up numbers that will make fantasy owners happy.
With the fifth pick, TheoRiddickly Speaking selects...
Paul Crewe - Quarterback - The Longest Yard
The final piece of the Mean Machine’s big three will go early. Any chance you have to get a former NFL MVP, you take it. Sure, Megget will get a lot of touches that may take some points away from Crewe but he also catches a lot of passes that give Crewe some easy yards. Throw in a target like Moss and Crewe has all the weapons he needs to put up some big numbers. He’s also capable of dropping his pads and making a play himself. Expect big things from Paul “Motley” Crewe.
With the sixth pick, Le’Veon a Prayer selects...
Clifford Franklin - Wide Receiver - The Replacements
Receivers will continue to fly off the board, and speaking of flying, Franklin can really fly! This guy has more than speed, he has what speed aspires to be when it grows up. He is the lone deep threat on a pass-heavy offense so you can expect double digit touchdowns for Franklin this year. If you do get him for you team though, you may not want to watch his games because the drops will drive you crazy.
With the seventh pick, Somewhere Over the Dwayne Bowe selects...
Ronnie Bass - Quarterback - Remember the Titans
Owners may be willing to reach for a Quarterback after Crewe is off the board. Whether it’s Sunshine or Shane Falco, I would expect to see a second signal caller go in the first round. Bass’ arm-strength is second to none and while he may be in a run-heavy offense, he puts up his numbers and he doesn’t turn the ball over. The Titans are waiting for someone to emerge as a true number one target but until someone does, Bass will spread the ball around and get owners some points.
With the eight pick, Turn Down for Watt selects...
Brian Murphy - Tight End - The Replacements
This is a very interesting pick because, while he may not put up the biggest numbers, Murphy is far and away the best Tight End on the board. While Franklin will make the big plays, Murphy will serve as Falco’s security blanket and will easily draw the most red-zone targets. It seems the Sentinels have worked out the silent snap count, eliminating any confusion between the deaf Tight End and the rest of his team. Great hands and a really strong connection with his quarterback make Murphy a late first - early second round talent.
Other potential first round picks:
Shane Falco - Quarterback - The Replacements
It comes down to a matter of preference between Falco and Bass. Footsteps Falco could put up some big numbers if his offense clicks the way it has in the past.
Spike - Fullback - The Little Giants
It’s very rare to see a Fullback go in the first round but Spike isn’t any ordinary Fullback. He will split carries with the Running Backs and will take just about all of the short yardage and goal line carries.
Forrest Gump - Kick Returner - Forrest Gump
This is another incredible talent limited by the position he plays. Kick Returners don’t get many chances to put up points but when Gump gets a chance he takes advantage. If your league gives points for return yards, you want to grab Gump.