Welcome to round five of Marvel vs DC: How They Win!!!! Round four put Wonder Woman against Captain Marvel and Black Canary against Elektra. The match we all want to see (or have if you've watched The Superhero Beat Down video). The Merc with a Mouth Deadpool goes up against Deathstroke The Terminator. Since Deadpool will grace us with the first fight in this article, let's use someone just as crazy as he is in the second fight and someone just as disciplined as Deathstroke. Harley Quinn puts her particular brand of insanity against Mystique.
Deadpool vs Deathstroke:
If we are going to be completely fair to DC, Wade Wilson is pretty much a blatant spoof of Slade Wilson. Their real names, code names, powers, and costumes are similar. They are both around the top of their class when it comes to deadly mercenaries. Deadpool has fought the X-Men to a standstill, beaten the Hulk, Wolverine, Sabretooth, and even Cable. While Deathstroke is one of the few people who can match Batman in skill and has taken on the Justice League and almost beat them one against all of them. Everything they do physically is about the same. Now their personalities are a completely different story.
Deathstroke is the embodiment of professionalism. When you call Deathstroke to do a job, once that contract is accepted, the job gets done to the letter. There is never any doubt of whether or not you will get screwed out of your money. The price may be high and unless you run in the right circles you probably won't be able to find him. Deadpool you might find at a taco truck or a pizza place down the street from your house. Deadpool can get the job done. There's no question about that. The problem with hiring Deadpool is he may take longer because he is being too goofy around during a job and can't resist a joke before the kill and he has become more and more hesitant when it comes to killing innocent people. I'm certain Deathstroke would kill a baby if he had to. He's attempted to cripple a member of the Teen Titans in an attempt to keep them safe. The killer who cares.
How does Deadpool win:
"You have any idea how hard it is to find a joint that'll serve a guy in a mask and bandolier? They won't even let me into Taco Bell!"-Deadpool
Despite all the jokes, banter, and just general shenanigans, Deadpool is not someone you want coming after you. Gambit actually paid Deadpool off because he said fighting him is the equivalent of suicide. Like I stated earlier, the two are equally matched when it comes to skill. But Deadpool has two things that Deathstroke doesn't. One is the inability to plan for him. Deadpool is too unpredictable. Just when you think youhave the answer, Deadpool changes the question (Thanks Roddy Piper). The other is a superior healing factor. Deadpool's superior healing factor can keep him going for days on end if he needs to. He can lose an arm and can still keep the fight going. He's actually continued fighting after being shot and having a whole in his head where is eye used to be. While Deathstroke has a great healing factor, at some point he is going to have to take a break and heal from his wounds. Deadpool doesn't stop. Ever.
How does Deathstroke win:
"No more work for hire. From today, I'll decide who needs to die."-Deathstroke
While Deathstroke may not be able to put Deadpool down permanently or plan for him, what he can do is improvise. Deathstroke is patient and this patience leads to him to rarely losing a fight. As long as Deadpool's nonstop talking doesn't make Slade lose his cool, he could trick Deadpool into falling into a pit of cement, molten lava, or any other situation that a healing factor won't help him escape. Knowing that Deadpool would come back after him later, Deathstroke would probably drop whatever he used to trap Deadpool and then send it into space or into the extreme depths of the ocean. The name of the game for Deathstroke is poise. If he can keep that, then he can add beating Deadpool to his list of conquests.
Harley Quinn VS Mystique:
Dr. Hareen Qunizel was just a psychiatrist at Arkham Asylum until she tried to help the Joker and she ends up falling in love with him. She goes from helping mentally ill people to becoming one herself. No longer a quiet and unsure woman, she was the Joker's girl. After what I can only assume is getting slapped one too many times, Harley finally leaves her Mr. J. She's teamed with Poison Ivy on more than a few occasions and has had multiple solo adventures. Harley may not have the training in martial arts that most A-List villains have, but Harley makes up for it with a ton of smarts, creativity with her weapons, and superior athletic ability. To underestimate her in a fight is pretty much asking to be beaten down or killed. You have to be skilled to take on Batman and not instantly be knocked out after his first punch is thrown. Just ask Guy Gardner.
Then there's Mystique. Mystique has always been a manipulative, conniving, female dog. Like I talked about in a previous article, Mystique is all about doing what is right for her. She has thrown her child off a waterfall because he ruined her identity, she's almost destroyed the idea that mutants can coexist with humans because has taken assassination jobs to kill public leaders, and she would kill a new born baby to save the life of a person who would never allow that to happen. Her shape changing ability has allowed her to roam free for decades. She was once a secret operative of Professor Xavier. During this time, she showed more uses of her powers than most writers have ever. She made multiple heads to see all around her and multiple arms to shoot in all directions. Shifting organs to avoid critical damage. And airplane like wings so she could almost fly to safety.
How does Harley Quinn Win:
"I'm going to kill you. For everything you've done to me. All the times you've made me feel useless and small. For all the times I will never forget. For all the things I can never forgive. All the memories..."-Harley Quinn
Despite Mystique being better trained, Harley can win this fight by just fighting the way she would normally fight anyone. Harley's greatest asset is her ability to use what she has creatively. It's not just the guns and the mallet. Harley uses the environment to her advantage as well as anyone. She could fight in an alley and throw garbage to keep Mystique off balance, and then bash Mystique's brains in with a trash can and a trashcan lid. Maybe take the fight to the street and push her into a car. Lure her to one of her hideouts and sick her hyenas on her. Harley also has an uncanny ability to take a lot of punishment. It could be from years of Joker beating on her. Whatever the reason, Harley has the ability to beat Mystique in a fight.
How does Mystique win:
"I haven't beaten a man with his own leg since Carter was in office...but I still remember how."-Mystique
Manipulation plain and simple. Mystique does this better than anyone. It's worked on all of the X-Men, some of the Avengers, and more. If Mystique pushes the right buttons, she could have Harley eating out of the palm of her hands literally. Harley is already easily used, so it wouldn't take much for Mystique to get inside of Harley's psyche and make her do whatever she wanted. In the end, Harley might even turn her skin color blue and start calling raven Ms. M. What Mystique could do to Harley would make what the Joker did to her look like amateur hour.
Thanks for reading. Comment? Opinions? Who do you want to see next? Just let me know in the comments.