ByMarlon McDonald, writer at
Umm... are you going to drink that Skooma?
Marlon McDonald

Though he is one of the most awe-inspiring and brilliant heroes to have been created, there's no denying the fact that the Batman is a proper psycho. I mean, look at him.

He suffered a terrible trauma as a child, and in order to deal with it he dresses up as a bat and jumps off rooftops. Don't they have therapists in Gotham?

Batman has long been seen as the selfless hero Gotham needs but doesn't deserve, but, much like the Joker, he has pulled off some eyebrow raising and generally heinous acts over the years he's been presiding over his dank and sprawling metropolis.

Come with me as I have a look at a few of the instances the Batman has been a total dick:

1. The Eternal Torture of Lord Death Man (Batman Inc.)

Lord Death Man is a crazy obscure character that was retconned by Grant Morrison for Batman Inc.. Unable to die but can still experience great pain, LDM goes on a metahuman murdering spree in Japan, stupidly while the Bat is there taking in the culture and training recruits.

Batman battles with the dead head, eventually throwing him off a building, then bundles his broken frame into a safe and launches said safe into space!

That's one way of doing away with an evil doer, but so, so harsh! Even though Death Man can't die, he'll be set to suffocate in that safe forever! Not to mention the broken spine and being stuck in a tiny space.

2. KGBeast and That Damn Basement (Batman #417-420)

KGBeast is another crazy obscure character. An highly skilled and cybernetically enhanced assassin, he was sent by the Soviet Union to take out high ranking US officials. Until the Bat enters the equation.

Having the crap beaten out of him by KGBeast, Bats eventually lures him into the sewers for one last confrontation, but, Bat being Bat, he locks him in a room and straight up walks off. Pretty much leaving the assassin to starve. Erm, so much for his one rule.

3. Bats Punches a Man into a... Sword?! (Detective Comics #37)

So, the villain Count Grutt stupidly decides he's gonna take the Bat on with a sword, but not actually use the sword as a sword is intended to be used. He lobs the sword at Bats, which of course misses and lodges in the door.

Batman casually saunters over to the dude, that's now pleading for his life, and punches him so hard, he teeters into the sword! Ending his short run of villainy. Dick move, Bats.

4. Batman Gets Laid While Burning Thieves to Death (All-Star Batman and Robin #7)

Speaking of dick moves, in the Frank Miller penned All-Star Batman and Robin, the Bat is steady busying himself by hunting down a bunch of crims that have stolen bleach. Yep, bleach. Finding them, he mixes up a cocktail of thermite and flammable bleach and sets the goons alight.

Not content with the screams and scents of charred crim, Bats decides to get his hands dirty and beat the shit out of them, while they're already aflame. I had to stress that last bit again. But it doesn't end there. His JLA buddy Black Canary turns up to help, but seeing as Bats has the situation pretty much under control, hangs back.

After he's done with the gang, Batman and Black Canary decide to get a little hot under the collar and begin sexing, amidst the unnecessary death that surrounds them. I guess that's why they call him "THE GODDAMN BATMAN!"

5. Hanging a Mental Patient from the Batwing (Batman #1)

Batman's early days of kicking ass were... quite murderous. Seriously, I wonder how many crims he tore through before realizing "shit, I'm pretty much as bad as them with all this WANTON MURDER I'M COMMITTING!"

One day in Gotham, a wild eyed and crazed Hugo Strange created a serum that turns people into muscular and incredibly dangerous mutants.

Intent on robbing a bank, the scientist's henchmen are taking one of the mutants into town to rob a bank. Enter the Batman with his Batplane and mounted Batgun, who guns down the driver, sending the truck careering into a tree.

The mutant manages to escape the truck, but before it can run off and cause madness somewhere in the city, Batman looses a lasso and catches the monster by the neck. Eventually the beast asphyxiates and is left dangling lifelessly from the bottom of the Batplane! F**k!

What makes this worse is that the scientist tested his serum out on mentally ill patients, so Batman has essentially just strung up a person suffering with a disability. Wow.

Plus, in a brief scuffle with the scientist, Batman gets injected with the serum and later manages to create an antidote. So... erm... why didn't he just cure the poor guy instead of carting his corpse around on his private jet? What's wrong with you, Batman?!

6. Keeping Records on His Justice Pals (JLA: Tower of Babel)

So, due to his warm heart and super trusting nature, Batman had been keeping tabs on his Justice League pals - records of their abilities, weaknesses and how to take them down if they ever go rogue. Which is pretty clever, if your friends don't find out.

But they always do, don't they Bats! Ra's al Ghul manages to break into Batman's supercomputer, steal all of his meticulously gathered data and effectively take down the JLA in admirably inventive ways, like making Aquaman terrified of water!

It was an interesting idea of Bats' to do that, especially seeing as his friends decided to wipe his memory not too long before that. Kinda dickish, but an understandably upset and noble dick.

7. The Robins

This one will obviously be a bit controversial, but any grown ass man that recruits kids to help him fight crime is a bit raw. Regardless of the trauma suffered by the young-uns, they're still kids!

I mean, look at what happened to Jason Todd and Tim Drake! And in Miller's retcon of the Dynamic Duo's early days together, Batman pretty much kidnaps Dick Grayson and traps him in the Batcave to test his "survival skills!" Now what is up with that?!

Much like Jared Leto's eagerly awaited portrayal of the Joker in Suicide Squad, Ben Affleck's Bat is shaping up to be the hard headed, master of solitude and major ass we've come to know Batman as over the years. But I guess if Superman and Zod leveled one of my skyscrapers, killing hundreds, I'd be pretty pissed too:

(Source: Wiki)


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