ByBenjamin Marlatt, writer at Creators.co

After winning over the heart of Brandy (Brittany Daniel), Joe Dirt (David Spade) and the girl of his dreams are now married and the parents of three triplet girls. However, despite it being clear that the four women in his life think the world of him, he’s overwhelmed and distraught by the obvious thought that him being Joe Dirt will negatively affect his little girls.

So, in an effort to prove that he is his daughters’ “Superman”, he goes back to their trailer in the midst of a tornado storm to retrieve a left behind tiara belonging to one of his daughters. But in the process, he’s swept away by the twister and sent back in time before his birth to 1965. It’s there that he must took a good hard look at his own life and discover the true meaning of life, all while facing off against those who stand in his way and could possibly alter the future.

It’s safe to say no one was expecting a Joe Dirt sequel. Like most Happy Madison productions, the critics thrashed it, but unlike the many others it didn’t make any money. It wasn’t a bomb by any means, but overall probably made just enough back to break even. However, over the years since its release the mulleted hero gained a cult following through video release and cable viewings. Now, nearly a decade and a half later, we the moviegoing public are finally getting the sequel we’ve long been waiting for.

Of course the film’s bad, but I’m not gonna lie, I can’t believe I actually liked a Joe Dirt sequel a little more than a David O. Russell film.

By “like”, I mean this isn’t as atrocious as Accidental Love.

At one point during the film, Dennis Miller says a line that best sums up Joe Dirt 2: Beautiful Loser – “This is Joe Dirt 2 and why have we overwritten this?”

Honestly, what’s to review here? Chances are, if you loved the first film, you may get a kick out of seeing the number of callbacks that occur in its sequel (along with Spade, Brittany Daniel, Dennis Miller, and Christopher Walken return, and there’s also a cameo by Adam Beach as Kicking Wing). If you weren’t a fan, I think I can safely assume this film won’t be converting you any time soon.

So I guess this review now just boils down to a kind act of public service by telling you to avoid this film even if you did like the first film.

Joe Dirt 2 is a prime example of lazy filmmaking at its worst. Not that I was expecting much to begin with; apparently neither are those backing this movie judging from the number of Arby’s ads running periodically throughout the film they’re relying on to make their money back instead of the number of moviegoers who I’m sure will not see this film. The first Joe Dirt wasn’t good by any means, but I at least got a couple laughs from it, and compared to this film it’s practically a Mel Brooks classic.

Where do you go from the first film? I don’t know, and I’m thinking neither do those involved in this film. I’ll be shocked to find out if David Spade and Fred Wolf actually put together a screenplay that was anything more than one page that contained no dialogue, but just brief synopses for Forrest Gump, The Wizard of Oz, Cast Away and It’s a Wonderful Life. No effort is put forth into making this anything other than predecessor callbacks and classic film rehashes. Once again, not that I was expecting much to begin with, but you expect the cast and crew to work with something. Anything. I mean, literally anything, no matter how simplistically dumb it is, other than seeing the hopelessly lost cast stare at the camera with a befuddled expression that says “How the hell did this end up getting the green light?” will do. But no, what we get is stretched-out, incoherent meandering from point A to point wherever the hell they’re going with extended moments of tiresome improvisation to fill out the near two-hour run time.

A Joe Dirt film that runs nearly two hours… Are you fucking kidding me?

And that there is the biggest problem with Joe Dirt 2. Of course, it doesn’t need to be two hours long, and it certainly wouldn’t have had Spade and Wolf remembered to hire an editor, or even just someone similar to an AA sponsor who’s willing to intervene and say enough is enough. The long-winded ad-libbing is bad enough, but the fact that they’re exhausting excuses for needless gross-out gags makes it worse. One fine example includes Joe Dirt getting farted on in the face repeatedly by bully coworkers. Why? ‘Cause farts are funny and having a smoking hot girl with big tits show up and fart in his face is even funnier. Perhaps they were trying to recreate what Mel Brooks was able to do in Blazing Saddles, but it worked for Brooks ’cause he was spoofing the classic Western trope of cowboys eating pork and beans by the campfire and somehow not once breaking wind. The filmmakers behind Joe Dirt 2… must – uh – really like farts. Need a reason? They don’t need no steeeenking reason!

Yes, Blazing Saddles, this film is not.

It doesn’t end there. Fortunately for all of us, we also are treated to extended sequences of Kevin Farley shoving multiple tampons up his ass, a totally random bit involving Joe Dirt chatting with caricatures of Forrest Gump, Bubba and Buffalo Bill (here named Bob, another callback to the first film) that doesn’t know when to end, and an entire segment of the film dedicated solely to Joe Dirt’s balls (featuring former NBA all-star Baron Davis in the most random cameo you’ll see this year) that, I swear to God, had to have gone on for at least fifteen minutes.

Fifteen seconds is long enough. Fifteen minutes, though, is punishment.

Even a bit that I did get a kick out of with Dirt meeting up with members of a band who’d later go on to become Lynyrd Skynyrd ends up dragging itself out longer than it needs to. At first, it’s kinda humorous when Spade tells them to drop their generic original band name (The Wildcats) and go with something unique (hinting to the name they’d eventually go with which they predictably despise) and their response is a list of flamboyant pop bands such as Wham!, Kajagoogoo and Cher. But no one seems to know when to cut it off and move on.

Joe Dirt 2: Beautiful Loser has a couple one liners that work, but for every one liner that works, it’s followed by twelve that don’t and two eternally long moments of ad-libbed riffing. To think that David Spade and director Fred Wolf had all that time available in the fourteen years between this film and its predecessor to put together something most sane people would be willing to accept as just moderately coherent, and the best they could come up with is a nutsack getting sucked into an airplane toilet. Spade has obviously seen better days. Dennis Miller has obviously seen better days. Christopher Walken has a well-deserved Oscar on his mantle for God’s sakes. But you know you’re dealing with a shitty film when you actual admit that even Mark “Sugar Ray” McGrath (the sequel’s version of Kid Rock’s role from the first film) deserves better.

I give Joe Dirt 2: Beautiful Loser a D- (½★).

Review source: http://silverscreenfanatic.com/2015/07/16/joe-dirt-2-beautiful-loser/

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