Now, as a rule, when Han Solo wants something bad to happen to you, you tend to know about it. Whether it's through snarky comments, thinly-veiled threats or simply shooting first, everyone's favorite roguishly handsome smuggler (sorry Mal) has never been one for keeping his feelings all that hidden - or for stopping short of violence when the need arises.
When it comes to Harrison Ford, though, it seems that his inherent deadliness isn't limited to those he has issues with. Instead, Ford seemingly has the ability to cause significant injury to those around him, whether he wants to or not.
Or, at least, that's what seems to be the implication of J.J. Abrams recent appearance on The Daily Show, in which he revealed that...
Han Solo (Or, Rather, Harrison Ford) Broke His Back (By Accident)
Y'see, as it turns out, Ford's famously broken ankle on the set of Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens wasn't the only injury the production suffered that day.
After a malfunctioning hydraulic door on the Millennium Falcon trapped Ford's ankle - bending it at a 90 degree angle, no less - Abrams leapt to the rescue of his stricken star...who didn't especially seem to need the help. As Abrams put it:
"The guy is like a real-life superhero...He should have the whole Marvel logo above his name...He’s down there and he’s toughing it out. He’s a superhuman being. He’s literally lying there making jokes."
Despite Ford's ease with the situation, though, Abrams clearly felt that he had to help his star escape the nefarious clutches of the world's most geek-unfriendly door...at which point things went horribly wrong:
"This door had gone down, and I’m trying to help lift it up – because that’s the kind of guy I am. I’m trying to lift up this door and I feel this pop in my back, and I’m like ‘Uh, that’s weird.’"
And, as Abrams' doctor revealed a few days later?
The Door Did More Than Just Damage Ford's Ankle
As Abrams revealed:
"He goes, ‘Oh you have a broken back'...I broke my L4 trying to lift this door.”
Which, being a deeply secretive man, he didn't tell anybody, instead simply wearing a back brace under his shirt for the rest of the shoot.
The only problem with that?
Harrison Ford is Essentially Invulnerable
Just a few short months after the twin accidents, y'see, this happened:
"Harrison Ford, from across the stage, sprints at me faster than I will ever run. And he’s like, ‘Hey J.J.!’ And I’m like, ‘Hi, Harrison Ford.’ Ooh, it hurts to talk that way. I felt like the most nebbishy Jewish director ever."
Which is proof, if proof were still needed, that a) Harrison Ford is a complete bad-ass, and b) nobody should ever mess with him...even if it's in the form of rescuing him from horrific injury.
Which, lets be honest, is the sort of life lesson J.J. probably could've learned just by watching Return of the Jedi...