ByJames Wood, writer at
Unabashed Transformers fan. Man crush on Tom Hardy. Avid fan of Tommy Wiseau's cult disasterpiece The Room.
James Wood

Oh Mr. Tommy Wiseau. You have created an event like no other, it cannot be rivalled. If you haven't heard of the 2003 romantic drama The Room, I'm both not surprised and very surprised. During its release the film tanked at the box office, making a shocking $3000 against a $6,000,000 budget. Poor marketing? Most definitely! No one knew of The Room, until it grew a steady cult following, as well as several screenings in which audiences began to appreciate its awfulness. Now, this film is well known all-round, people will either call it flat out bad or entertainingly bad.

Tommy Wiseau writes, directs, produces and stars in The Room. Meet Johnny, a successful banker with a loving fiancée called Lisa and his loyal friend Mark. One day Lisa decides to cheat with Mark. From then on, nothing will ever be the same again.

That's the outline, any semblance of story is non-existent and that's where most the hilarity and awe comes from. Several scenes consist of Johnny walking, playing football just about everywhere, neighbours walking in and out of the room itself and many, many establishing shots of San Francisco. During all this randomness, characters will appear out of thin air in times for important situations that yet again, come out of nowhere. At one point, Denny, a neighbour of Johnny and Lisa's, walks in to ask for butter and then leaves without the butter. All this drama, all this tension, who knows if Denny ever made his butter-based dish?

Whilst the acting is subpar, some even worse, courtesy of Scott Holmes whose impression of sex is something to be concerned about, nothing reaches the heights of unintentional laughter than the dialogue. You'd find it hard winning an argument proving Tommy Wiseau is of this Earth. His dialogue is alien, nobody speaks to another person the way these characters here do. One scene, the most infamous and just plain weird that proves my point of Wiseau's alien nature sees Johnny purchases some flowers. He wanders into a local flower shop and asks for a "dozen red roses", in which the cashier replies "Oh hi Johnny I didn't know it was you". She grabs the roses followed by a "Here they are", out of nowhere Johnny says "That's me". And in a moment of pure bewilderment both Johnny and the cashier cut up one another with a spew of speedily performed lines, ending with "Oh hi Doggy". I devoted an entire paragraph to this scene because it's something that only comes around once in a lifetime of movies.

Wiseau writes in such a misogynistic style, all women are cheats and pigs, and men can do no wrong and they get hurt by women all the time. It's unbelievable and plain sexist yet funny that he thought he could get away with this. The plot holes are so big you could drive a lorry through them, the sex scenes are just wrong and each of them is accompanied by some of the cheesiest and cringe love songs that sound like cheap covers of proper ballads. Continuity is out the window, as is Johnny's TV, literally.

Character development and backstory instead become mood swings, in which characters will be one minute enraged, and the next calm as the sea. Please do yourself a favour and check out the rooftop scene, it is the best part of the entire movie, which is then followed up with a confrontational scene with an absolute belter of a line delivered by Tommy Wiseau with a lot of passion: "YOU'RE TEARING ME APART, LISA!".

Destined for repeat viewings, mainly due to it's endless string of unforgettable lines and general amusement, The Room is getting a 5.0 out of 10 from me. Think of it as a half and half viewing, one half being that it's just a bad movie, then the other half being the entertainment and fun you get from experiencing Wiseau's disasterpiece.


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