BySam Plank, writer at
"You have to be what you are. Whatever you are, you gotta be it." -Johnny Cash. Tweet a tweeter at my twitty twitter, @tw1tterintw1t
Sam Plank

Warning: extremely cringe-inducing article below! For the fellas, anyway.

So not many guys out there can argue that quite possibly the most painful thing a guy can experience is a kick, punch, flick, etc. to his man bits. Can I get a halleluyouch?

Once in a while, a movie will come out that has a scene that makes every guy that ever watches it, at the very least, shift uncomfortably in his seat. Or scream and point at the tv. Or cry and hold his junk in his hands, as if protecting it from the fate of the man junk he just saw on the tv screen. If you've seen one of those movies, you never forget that scene, either.

You may be asking, Y U HAVE TO TALK AbOUT DiS??? Well, if you want to know, click below. There are no spoilers, but it's definitely a TMI moment for a lot of

I just had a vasectomy! So there's ball pain on my mind, and my mind is on ball pain. Sorry! You clicked!

So this got me to thinking, what movies show the worst possible groin injuries to ever grace our boob tubes? I can think of 2 right now that I will NEVER forget about. After some searching around, sho' 'nuff, I found some more movies that show a dude dying the worst possible death ever!

Without further delay, here are the worst junk injuries in cinematic history!

Carrie 2: The Rage

Anyone who watched this movie walked away never being able to think about little Brad Taylor the same. It was the first time I saw a guy get his junk shot off by a spear gun, and hopefully the last!

Go to 4:10 to see the lost boys (get it? lost boys? hm...) scene, or just watch the whole scene in all its gory glory! Seeing Carrie get revenge on all those d-bags was great!

I Spit on your Grave

I rented this one out of sheer, morbid curiousity, and was surprised that it was actually a half-decent movie. Girl gets kidnapped, raped (actually the worst part of the movie...even worse than the weener wacking scene), and left for dead. Girl comes back, and gets revenge on her attackers in some very sick twisted ways. Hence, the entry into this list!

This is the full movie, so you might want to fast forward to 1:24:00 to get to the manscaping scene. Or spit, watch the whole thing!

Piranha 3D

This is one I haven't seen yet, and from the looks of this scene, I probably won't. At least, until I'm past the pain from the thing I talked about above!

"They took my penis!"

Definitely not up there with "Here's lookin' at you, kid." But memorable, to say the least!


Another one I haven't seen, simply because of these two words: Vagina Dentata. THOSE TWO WORDS CANNOT GO TOGETHER. EVAR. But, unfortunately (or fortunately?) for this p.o.s. wanker in the movie, he doesn't get that "no" means "no" and pays the ultimate price!

Cutting Moments (short film)

Thanks to the wonderful moviepilot dude Tony Ulysses Announces, I first came across gem on this site, in this article.

Long story short, husband ignores wife, wife goes nuts, and husband loses nuts in a very disturbing way. It's about 30 minutes long, but the hardest scene to watch is near the end:

Okay, dee ba dee ba dee, that's all I can stomach, folks. I'm gonna go grab an ice pack and take a nap now. Hope I brightened up your day!


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