ByJordon Depoti, writer at

It's that time again, folks. No, not the time when a fat man in a red suit comes down your chimney with a bag filled to the brim with wrapped presents, ready to grant you the material wishes of the year in exchange for a few cookies and a glass of milk. Alas, it's the time of year where the superhero movies you couldn't wait to see finally hit theaters, and the truth of where they stand in your eyes is revealed. Today, we're going to talk about the brand new 'Fantastic (or lack there of) Four' movie. But be warned, as spoilers are below!

Now for the ins-and-outs of why this movie was so bad. To be fair to the actors, I thought they did a pretty good job given the horrible writing and plot-line they had to work with. The chemistry, however, between the characters felt weak at best. Sue Storm and Reed Richards have almost no chemistry, although Victor Von Doom may beg to differ. Speaking of, Victor has no real tension with Reed that rifts them apart. You know what I mean, that one moment that two characters face together that change their fates and actions forever. A crucible of sorts, where two men face the flames of despair, and both come out stronger, yet completely opposite, metals forged by those flames (it's a metaphor). Instead, we get Reed and Vic sharing some drinks, joking together and even laughing and smiling amongst one-another's company. It's the government - and truthfully, humanity as a whole - that drives Doom down his twisted path to becoming the villain he is today.

And I mean Sue and Johnny are supposed to be family, but from the film you wouldn't even know they were acquainted, at least until the very end.

Speaking of the end, what in the hell was that? You know - the wormhole apparently controlled by Dr. Doom that was sucking up all of Earth's matter through the dimensional vortex that leads to, and I quote the writers here, "Planet Zero". I don't mind the quantum physics and thermodynamics, but when using them to give people super powers, you'd think the writers would have done more time explaining the science behind it.

And then there's Dr. Doom. We spend the first 90 minutes or so waiting to meet one of the most iconic and loved/hated villains ever created, only to get a 5 minute fight scene against a villain that seemed to have no one set power. Rather, he seemed to have any power he needed, controlled by this peculiar green energy that the writers described as "an energy that mimics a living nerve". It was completely flawed, and made him far too powerful for four heroes of the 'fantastic' caliber to even contemplate tackling.

And yet again, the disappointment continues. Sue gets her powers not from Planet Zero and the strange energy emanating from the planet, but from the pod that took our heroes to that dimension reemerging in ours. Again - all of this would be fine had they given any scientific background explaining how it could even be remotely plausible, but they didn't.

With plot holes littering the film, a lack of scientific explanation for a movie completely based on scientific theories, and the essential comic charisma and relationships these characters should share being amiss, I give 'Fantastic Four' a mere 2.2 out of 10. O verall, 'Fantastic Four' has fallen so short of being a film worth watching that the very definition of fantastic may need to be changed. To sum it up in one sentence as to how horrid a reboot Fox has brought us, 'Fantastic Four' was so bad that they may have to change the definition of fantastic in the dictionary.


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