Hello. My name is Akari. Akari Kekse.
Clichés. We love and embrace these old friends of ours. What would a horror movie be without them? We have shared our lives with them since we were little and innocent. They are part of us now.
Many do complain about them though, but without them, we would feel empty. Cheated, even. We need them in our horror movies. We need them just as much as we need fresh air after the frightening movie's climax.
There are clichés that are crucial to a film. There are others that are featured just for nostalgia's sake. There are others that teach us valuable lessons. Some others just make us laugh. But they are all necessary.
Today, I will bring you the seven most common clichés in horror movies.
I hope you enjoy it!
1.) Cellphones never work
Imagine this: You are running away from a dreadful serial killer. You and your friends are stranded in the middle of an abandoned hotel or an old factory and there is nobody near you to help you. What you will do? Will you turn back and fight against the villain? Or would you call 911, using your cellphone, hoping for a dozen of cops to arrive to help you?
Well, most likely, your cellphone is useless by now. Maybe you dropped it in the lake (there is always a lake), or the battery is empty and the charger is broken, or simply, there is no signal.
Hope you gather enough courage to fight against evil. You will need it.
2.) People always trip when running away from the killer
When the killer is chasing someone (usually through an empty, cold and dark forest), the soon-to-be-victim will trip over. A branch will get in the way. Or the victim's ankle will snap. Or if the runner is a girl, the long heel of her shoes will break. One way or the other, they will kiss the ground.
And by the way, the killer never runs, but somehow, they'll catch the victim sooner or later.
3.) Junkies and sex addicts die first
We all know, since the very beginning of the movie, who will die and who will survive.
The noble and good girl will, no doubt, survive and will kill the villain and save the day. Her boyfriend, I bet, will die; most likely, sacrificing his own life to save hers.
But who, of the group of beautiful and merry friends of the movie will die first? Well, those who like to enjoy earthly pleasures, that's who. Those who like to party, to take drugs, and to have sex everywhere at all times. Why? I don't know. Surely somebody is trying to teach us a lesson. Premarital sex and hard drugs aren’t good. According to the '40s, anyway.
4.) The villain seems to be dead, but will definitely be back
After a long struggle, the main character is able to hurt the villain. Maybe he or she hits 'em with a bat or a shovel right in the head. Or maybe, he or she shoots at him using a gun, several times, right in the chest. One hits. Finally.
The good guys always think that the villain is defeated and run away leaving the inert body lying there ... alone, next to its weapon, by the way. We know better. THEY ARE STILL ALIVE. Kill them before they come back! FINISH HIM!
Well, there's another 15 minutes to fill, anyway.
5.) Mean people always die horribly
As a rule, if a character is mean to the others, he or she is destined to die in a horrible manner. He or she needed to be taught a lesson, after all.
The other alternative, I have to say, is for this character to find redemption, but that is not as fun. We want them to die.
6.) Cops will die, too
Let's imagine this: the main character is struggling to find a way to communicate to the cops (as seen in the first post). When he/she finally manages to do so, he/she is informed that the police will arrive in a few minutes. In that moment we know that our heroes will be safe - the handy police will take care of everything...
Or, will they?
Cops will arrive, of course, but they will die almost immediately. It seems like they are not prepared to fight against ghosts, demons and supernatural serial killers. Hmm, weird. They should train them better in order to manage these kinds of events.
7.) Nobody will believe you until it's too late
Let's suppose that there is a ghost in your house. If you actually have one living with you, well, then this will be easier to picture (I hope it is not an evil one, by the way). If you say to someone that you share your house with a spirit, none of your friends will believe you. Nor your teachers, nor the cops. So when a character in a horror movie is having a terrifying and paranormal experience, we can comprehend the situation.
They will not believe us until they see something weird with their own eyes. Sadly, when they finally do, they will die (gruesomely, of course). If only they would have believed us before it was too late, right?
Bonus! Non-white people will die first
Because of course.
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