There is a team that has been to 6 of the past 14 Superbowls. That means they have made it to the the world's biggest sporting event a whopping 43% of the time over the past decade and a half and it's not by accident. The New England Patriots have done whatever it takes, from spying on other teams, to drafting the now convicted murderer Aaron Hernandez, to trading for a known problem child in Randy Moss. Hell, even their team captain Tom Brady is suspended for the first four games of the upcoming season for cheating. Point being, when Movie Pilot says draft a team to save the world, you better believe I'm going to use the same formula! Casting morals aside, I'm here to put together a team that will save the world at any cost! Whatever they do afterwards... well that's not my problem (although I do have a plan). So while everyone else is picking boy scouts, I'll be picking an actual winning team. Without further ado, here they are.
The Killing Jokers A.K.A.
Team Captain: The Joker
The Joker may be a psychopath but he's also a maniacal genius. Known for his super intellect, the Joker has concocted many full proof plans, albeit for mainly sinister reasons. The team needs someone who can control unpredictable characters and stay one step ahead of them and there is no one better at being "ahead of the curve" than the Ace of Knaves! The Joker has no superhuman abilities but that does not mean he should be taken lightly. He has no fear, feels no pain, and has an arsenal of weapons that puts his arch-nemesis' utility belt to shame. "But wait, why would the Joker even want to save the world in the first place?" you might ask. The Joker is evil, he doesn't care about money, he doesn't play well with others, and that is exactly why he'd take the gig. He's obsessed with being unpredictable, and when the heroes failed to get the job done he would step up to the challenge. After all, if he truly didn't care about dying then why would he pay his taxes?
First Round Pick: Deadpool
With the first pick of the draft I select Deadpool! He may be unpredictable and mouthy but talent always supersedes attitude. Deadpool has superhuman strength, speed and stamina, and a healing factor so powerful that he could be blown to smithereens, but as long as at least his pinky toe remained he would come back and kick some more ass. Deadpool has many weapons in his arsenal including his twin katanas, grenades, two hand machine guns, and the magic satchel in which he can pull anything out of thin air and kill you with it. He could pull out a pie and smash it in your face before he slices you in half. He can dodge bullets and most importantly he can break the fourth wall. As a bonus, just imagine the laughs he and the Joker would share!
Second Round Pick: Rorschach
Rorschach sees the world in black and white with no gray areas. If you're in the wrong according to Rorschach you're as good as dead. I don't need some sissy in a bat costume who's afraid to get some blood on his hands. I need a detective who will solve the crime but will also be judge, jury, and executioner as he sees fit. Rorschach has no superpowers, but he is a master tactician and amazingly resourceful, known to use anything from a toilet bowl to a cigarette as a weapon. Rorschach is a loose cannon and completely unpredictable which means he'll fit right in with this team of misfits. But how could someone with such a moral compass ever work with the Joker? After all, Rorschach is the one who said "There is good and evil, and evil must be punished. Even in the face of Armageddon, I will not compromise in this." And therein lies the beauty of the pick. Rorschach is drafted with the promise of taking down the Joker after the world is saved... if the Joker doesn't take him out first. Checks and balances, my friends, checks and balances.
Third Round Pick: Darth Maul
Darth Maul is the silent and deadly type I need to round out the team. With so many big personalities on the squad already, I need someone who can follow orders, stick to the shadows, kill anyone in sight, and has a double-sided lightsaber. Check marks in all four boxes. Darth Maul was able to hold his own against two of the most powerful Jedi ever and even kill one of them. He is an assassin who has been trained in the darkside of the force, and as we saw on Tatooine, he is perfect for recon missions. Secretly, Maul would double as the Joker's body guard to protect him from Rorschach until the world was saved. You have to keep all your bases covered. Darth Maul's former master Darth Belichick would be pleased with my selection.
And boom goes the dynamite! Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed. Let me know what you think down below, and also if you made post you can leave it in the comments as well so I can check out your team.