The challenge for this week’s contest is to create a team of four people who can fight off a threat to the universe “which has never been seen before.” While the thought of creating a team with the best superhero/super-powered characters to have ever been created, there was a more appealing team that I could create. Going off the beaten path and onto something a bit more fun, the universe that my team will be protecting is the criminal underworld. That universe is always in some form of peril, which means that the four characters who will be stopping those threats must be hard hitting, tough people who have a taste for violence. While these characters might not necessarily be bad people, they do have to be able to hold their own against cold-stone killers who are attempting to rule the crime world. Now, what type of characters are badass with a side of violent tendencies and little to no remorse? Characters from the mind of Quentin Tarantino.
Switching up the contest a bit, the criminal underworld that this universe exists in is rule by Tarantino. There is a threat of other factions attempting a takeover of his domain, which forces him to select the best of the best from his movies. These characters have demonstrated in their respective films that they are fit for the team. The team will be run by a boss (rather than a captain) who will mostly call the shots, supply the team, and run the day to day operations for Tarantino. Meanwhile, the three mobsters (selections) will defend the operation from infiltration.
The Boss: Marcellus Wallace (Pulp Fiction)
There were two strong contenders for the position of the boss from the Tarantino films. However, Marcellus Wallace offered a slightly better resume than Joe (Reservoir Dogs) since he was not murdered by one of the men he hired. Marcellus demonstrates that he can easily run a crime organization with an iron fist. He is able to call up whoever he might need whenever he needs it, from the Wolf to aid Jules and Vincent to a couple of hard hitting men with lead pipes to help murder a rapist (that is the one drawback to him, but details). Marcellus also stays calm when things seem to be spiraling out of control. While Joe has age and experience on his side, Marcellus does not receive any backtalk from his workers, especially not over names. Marcellus would be the perfect boss to run the operation of the gang.
First Selection: Django (Django Unchained)
The fastest shooter from the 19th century would be the first person to be selected to this mob. Django has the ability to clean house of any other criminal organization that may be plotting to overthrow the crime lord. Illustrating his knack for fending off numerous adversaries during numerous showdowns, Django would be the best man from the world of Tarantino to be the lead person of any operation. The man can shoot anything from a sidearm to a sniper, especially if they are racists with blinding bags over their heads. His sense of style would have to be fixed before he could go out into the battlefield, but that is merely a minor detail in his overall character. Who could beat him in a gun duel? No one. How many people would it take to kill him? If there is enough ammunition, then the answer to those riddle is there isn’t enough people in the world to take Django out.
Second Selection: The Bride (Kill Bill Volume 1 & 2)
Speaking of a character who can take on all comers, the Bride would be sent into a job with the intent to send a message. Sure, a massacre of dead gangsters from gun shots does send a message, but one that has been done numerous times. Meanwhile, the Bride replicates her fight with the Crazy 88 to one possible gang rising, the message will be loud and clear: abort the mission. The decimation of bodies that would be left after she cleaned house would send even the toughest criminal turning a new leaf. With the right motivation (how about the location of Bill), the Bride could be utilized to protect the interests of Marcellus Wallace and the Tarantino. The path of destruction that she would leave behind her is scary to imagine.
Third Selection: Sergeant Donny "The Bear Jew" Donowitz (Inglorious Basterds)
Every mob needs the enforcer; the one who will be break knee caps with a baseball bat in order to get information out of a rat. Well, it so happens that Tarantino has a character who is well versed in the art of the baseball bat. Donowitz is the perfect man to fill the role that every good mob has in their pocket. Send Donny in to integrate a potential rat or rival gang member and they will be singing like a canary. Any man who was feared by the Nazis has the capabilities to enforce the mob’s will. Donny will defend this mob when on a job alongside Django since he can handle an automatic gun with ease. As long as he does not have to speak any form of Italian, then there is no problem here.
What shall we call this combination of the best Tarantino potential mobsters? Their name will be: Legion of Revenge. All of these characters have one major thing in common: they all want revenge. While Donny’s revenge may be more broad in scope, all characters are driven by righting some wrong done to them. Revenge is not always a good motivation, however in a world run by Tarantino, it is the best thing to use.