ByOcpCommunications, writer at

"Discover the secret of the Surfer."

I think I already discovered his secret. And his secret stinks. Just like this movie. Fantastic Four: Rise Of The Silver Surfer is worthy of it's status as one of the worst superhero films out there and it has to be seen to be believed. It's that bad. All of the recent reviews saying the 2015 Fantastic Four film is much worse than this? Need to watch this crapfest again and refresh their memories. I watched this just last night and I have already forgotten the movie. It's not only forgettable but it's mind numbingly stupid and boring. It feels like you are watching a shitty sitcom starring the Fantastic Four. If this was an actual tv series? It would not have made it past the pilot episode.

Rise Of Silver Surfer is riddled with issues. First off for some reason Fox rehires Tim Story for a second go around with the franchise after his meh handling of Fantastic Four. Bad choice. He doesn't make any improvements upon his efforts with the previous film. In fact? He regresses. And delivers a film that is even less engaging than the moderately entertaining 2005 film. The film is 92 minutes long but it felt like 192. In large part to a really poor screenplay that decides that holes forming in the ground are thrilling to watch. This sequel has a little bit more action in it than the first film in the series but not much more. A little sequence with the fantastic car, some scenes where Surfer blows up some military trucks, and a climatic battle between Doom and Johnny Storm who is infused with all of the team's powers. Other than that? Not much in terms of action. It's a fairly tame and lame production for the most part.

The cast delivers competent performances minus Jessica Alba of course, but nothing to write home about. Even Michael Chiklis comes off as unimpressive in this movie. And Julian McMahon shows again why he is just not right for the role of Doom. Very forgettable and at points feels like he doesn't even belong in the movie. The Surfer though is well performed by Doug Jones, and the voice over work by Laurence Fishburne is superb. But Silver Surfer has little to do and deserves a better film than this. And no conversation about this film can be complete without mentioning the egregiously awful decision to make Galactus eater of worlds a generic looking space cloud. That right there is a fucking disgrace. And speaking of the word disgrace? Why is it that in 2007 there was not one scene of a Marvel superhero dancing like a idiot but two? I guess Tobey Maguire "Staying Alive" in Spider-Man 3 wasn't bad enough because in Rise Of Silver Surfer Mr. Fantastic gets jiggy with it in embarrassing fashion at a dance club at his bachelor party.

The film's main saving grace is it's short running time. And even that isn't enough to save it. Boring, pathetic, lame crap of the highest disorder. A fantastic belly flop.

* out of five stars(The worst Fantastic Four film to date. Don't let the reviews of the 2015 film fool you. This film is a major fantastic fuck up.)


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