ByRich W Kraemer, writer at
I am a lover of movies, television, and almost all things in nerd culture... @BoofersonJ

The Mission:

To create the perfect Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich, that can be enjoyed by vegetarians, vegans, carnivores, gluten free-ers, people who hate fruit, and those allergic to peanuts.

Skill Set #1: Matter Manipulation (Doctor Manhattan, Watchmen)

Now creating a food of any type that covers all bases as stated in my mission briefing sounds like an impossibility... unless of course you can manipulate those foods on a molecular level to fit your into all those categories. All ingredients are stripped of all inorganic material, all animal like qualities leaving only vegetation that contains no soy, gluten, lactate, or peanut allergens.

Skill Set #2: Food Preparation Knowledge (Swedish Chef, Muppets)

How can one hope to prepare anything edible without an even basic understanding of how to work in a kitchen?! The next skill I shall acquire are the cooking skills of The Swedish Chef. His recipes are simple, don't require much measuring, portioning, or other things that could cause the flavors in any meal to miss the mark. And luckily cleanliness is not a requirement in this mission.

Skill Set #3: The Jedi Mind Trick (Obi-Wan Kenobi, Star Wars)

Finally, no matter how much time and preparation go into any meal, there are always those that have decided they won't try it beforehand. These Debbie Downers of the dinner table will ensure that even if you meet all their dietary restrictions, and make every attempt to please their picky palette, they will simply refuse whatever is put before them like a toddler on a tempter tantrum. This is easily avoidable with a simple wave of the hand, focusing of the mind, and a suggestive statement given that this is the sandwich they are looking for; and it is the greatest thing they have ever put in their mouth.


So, do you think I have what it takes to make the perfect PB & J


Latest from our Creators