ByHeather Snowden, writer at
Lover of bad puns, nostalgic feels and all things Winona. Email: [email protected] Tweet: @heathbetweetin
Heather Snowden

The below list of beloved, classic critters all have one particular quality in common: the total inability to take no for an answer. Their unwanted and embarrassing sexual advances, although to a certain extent amusing, would totally land them in jail, irl.

Here are 12 of the most sexually aggressive cartoons in animated history:

1. Girl Squirrel - Sword in the Stone

When Arthur is tuned into a squirrel by Merlin he has a rather awkward encounter with a female squirrel. Although she is adorable, she is incapable of taking a hint and her blatant advances borderline on psychotic. Within minutes she becomes the type of chick you'd literally lock yourself in a dark cupboard to avoid hanging out with.

2. Jafar - Aladdin

After Jafar gets hold of the Genie, his plans for power completely go to his head and he quickly turns from a pathetic pervy uncle type to an utterly disgusting evil sleaze-bag, complete with hell-tinted boudoir. Gross.

3. Zapp Brannigan - Futurama

The sexist and overtly vain Zapp Brannigan attempts at wooing the ladies are as hilariously misguided as they are pitiful. It's fine though, I think most women know to avoid any dude who walks around pantless in public.

4. Lena Hyena - Who Framed Roger Rabbit

Christ alive, Lena Hyena was absolutely terrifying. She's that utterly embarrassing friend of your parents that, no matter how much you try to hide the booze, ends up getting hopelessly drunk at parties and throws herself at anything with a pulse. Run.

5. Pepe Le Pew - Looney Tunes

This little skunk really does not know how to take no for an answer. He's French and as stereotypical as they come, being super 'romantic' and constantly on the search for l'amour. However, his constant wandering hands and powerful stench makes you simultaneously gag whilst reaching for the pepper spray.

6. Herbert - Family Guy

John Herbert a.k.a Herbert the Pervert, is family guys resident pedophile. Although, granted, he is rather harmless, you still wouldn't really want him reading you a bedtime story now, would you?

7. The Wolf - Red Hot Riding Hood

It doesn't take a genius to see that the character of Red Hot Riding Hood was the inspiration behind Jessica Rabbit, with her little red dress and flirtatious eyes. However, as far as I'm concerned, she could be singing completely nude and it still wouldn't give Mr Wolf the right to carry on the way he does in the clip above. Talk about asshole. Scroll to 3:22 for excellent advice on how to handle such advances.

8. Quagmire - Family Guy

Glenn Quagmire is the hyper sex crazed neighbour of the Griffin's. Someone should probably tell him that the catchphrase 'giggity' is a bit of a turn-off and his general tactics of harassment are, 9 times out of 10, going to result with a slap.

9. Gaston - Beauty and the Beast

Dude, please, talk about being an insufferable meathead. Vanity is deeply unsexy and your methods of proposal leave an infinite amount to be desired. Go guzzle your eggs somewhere else.

10. Animaniacs

The troop of dog-like Animaniacs really did set an awful example to young boys watching this show when it came to how to react when an attractive lady enters the room. Screaming 'HELLLLLLLOOOO NURSE' and waggling your tongue around like a rabies infected lunatic ain't gonna get you the goodies, my friends.

11. Popeye vs Bluto

Whilst I'm sure some would find it flattering to have two uniformed sailors fighting over your interest, I really can't imagine how Olive coped. Their blatant disregard for her feelings whilst ego-bashing one another irl would've just surmounted to a huge pain in the ass.

12. The Ringmaster - Betty Boop

The pervefest in this eye-popping clip kicks in around the 5 minute mark, where, after Betty gives a cute and extremely impressive tightrope performance, the ringmaster sneaks into her changing room and shit gets super molesty, super fast. This is perhaps one of the earliest examples of sexual harassment on screen and it's absolutely terrifying. The scene ends with Betty saying that the ringmaster couldn't take her 'Boop-boop-ba-doop' away, which blatantly implies he was after her virginity. Shudder.

(Source: Ranker)


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