ByAllanah Faherty, writer at
Senior staff writer | Twitter: @allanahfaherty | Email: [email protected]
Allanah Faherty

You've seen The Hills Have Eyes, you saw the method to Lecter's madness in The Silence of the Lambs, and you've already looked into whether or not the Amazonian tribe in the upcoming film The Green Inferno really do exist. Yep, there's no denying it, you're a flesh hungry cannibal.

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But, as much as you love the taste of human meat, there is a downside to this lifestyle choice - it's surprisingly hard to convince fleshies to part with their bits. So after years of taking whatever you can get, you've compiled the ultimate hit-list of the tastiest celebs you'd want to rip a chunk out of.

Check out the list of celebrities below and tell me if you could see yourself enjoying their flesh with some fava beans and a Chianti in the comments below:

Jennifer Lawrence

Deliciousness rating: 4 out of 5 brains

Why not start with the darling of Hollywood, and best friend of the internet, Jennifer Lawrence. J Law would make a nice snack for those days when you need a little something to pick you back up, and give you the energy to keep going. Her vivacity and thirst for life is something that will surely radiate through her whole body, including her flesh. Mmm, tastes like Mockingjay.

Jim Parsons

Deliciousness rating: 3 out of 5 brains

Bazinga! Surely playing a genius like Sheldon Cooper for all those years has meant that some of that math and science has rubbed off on actor Jim Parsons. Imagine how delicious a brain filled with all that knowledge would taste! In addition to the tastiness of Parsons, at 6' 1" he's also going to provide a lot of meat, definitely enough to have a few cannibal pals around for a good old fashion barbecue.

Kim Kardashian

Deliciousness rating: 3 out of 5 brains

Let's not pretend we're not all thinking it: Dat ass. Kim Kardashian may be small, but she also has one of the most curvaceous and famous behinds in the universe. Basically, any self-respecting cannibal would be silly not to include her on a must-eat list. Besides, maybe she'll bring Kayne along to the party, too!

Chris Pratt

Deliciousness rating: 4 out of 5 brains

We went with delicious brains with Jim Parsons, but now we've set our sights on the leaner cuts of meat with Chris Pratt. This superhero and raptor trainer has been in great shape for the last couple of years, and I can imagine that he might taste a little like rabbit, or perhaps turkey. You wouldn't want to dine out on Pratt every day, but for a special occasion meal he'd make the perfect treat.

Jennifer Aniston

Deliciousness rating: 5 out of 5 brains

Brains, good looks and a great sense of humor. Whether you're looking to meet her or eat her, Jennifer Aniston is a total catch. Much like Chris Pratt, she might be a little lean, though with a nice side, and a fine wine, Jennifer Aniston would surely be at the top of any cannibal's must-eat list.


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