Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is a perfect example of a Hollywood film. It received almost entirely negative reviews but, it made a lot of money. So damn right Paramount is making a sequel. Who needs artistic integrity when you have a Scrooge McDuck style swimming pool, right?
"Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles may bear the distinction of being the dullest movie ever made about talking bipedal reptiles." - RottenTomatoes
Anyway: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2, subtitled Half Shell, is due to release June of next year and no doubt Michael Bay will be exploding all over the shop with excitement as to this next iteration of the disturbingly designed CGI turtles.
Old Faces, New Blood
Megan Fox will reprise her award-winning role as April O'Neil (said award being Worst Supporting Actress). Will Arnett and William Fichtner will also return as Vern Fenwick and bad-guy Eric Sacks respectively, and Brian Tee will be taking over Tohoru Masamune's role as The Shredder.
Stephen Amell (best known for his portrayal of the vigilante character in Arrow) will join the cast as vigilante character and probable love interest of April, Casey Jones who actually looks like he might be a strong addition.
On the voice actor/motion capture side of things, Alan Ritchson (Raphael); Noel Fisher (Michelangelo); Johnny Knoxville (Leonardo) and Jeremy Howard (Donatello) complete the turtle gang, and Tony Shalhoub returns as Splinter. Half Shell will also introduce Bebop and Rocksteady, who fans of the TMNT cartoon/comics will recognise as the mutant rhino and warthog villains, members of Shredder's Foot Clan. They'll be voiced by Gary Anthony Williams (Bebop - the warthog) and WWE wrestler Sheamus as Rocksteady (the rhino)
What The Hey?
We already know we're going to see the return of our bad guys from the first film, Shredder and Sacks, but the big rumour is that another classic TMNT villain is going to be brought to the screen.
So Krang is a war criminal who had his brain removed from his body and turned to a human/brain hybrid thing, banished from Earth to Dimension X for his crimes. He eventually escapes Dimension X as villains are want to do, and returns to try and take over the Earth. Him and Shredder became best buds to go after the turtles together, and Shredder built him an exo-suit to serve as his body.
There's been concept art of Krang [above], alongside Bebop and Rocksteady, floating around on the internet since the first film came out, but at Paramount's request the art of Krang has been pulled from several sites, prompting rumours that Krang will actually be appearing in the sequel, and they're trying to keep it under wraps for now.
It's Not All Bad (Or Is It?)
I like TMNT as much as the next person who was a child in the 90s. It's silly and fun and inoffensive, and it works really well as a cartoon and as a comic book. As a live-action movie however... it doesn't. Or at least, it hasn't been made to work yet. There's nothing wrong with a movie being dumb, some of my favourite movies are dumb, but if you're gonna pull that dynamic off it needs to be fun to watch. Thus far it hasn't really been fun, it's been painful.
But maybe I'm just a snob (I am) and I'm sure the producers will laugh all the way to the bank regardless.
On the plus side, Krang looks pretty cool, if he does make an appearance. Karai (Shredder's daughter in this iteration) will be featured, portrayed by Brittany Ishibashi. Tee's Shredder is visually pretty impressive, and Stephen Amell's take on Casey Jones is looking hopeful.
I won't hold my breath until I pass out, but these elements could maybe render the whole thing a little less painful the next time around. Maybe.