ByRob Taylor, writer at Creators.co
Rob Taylor

Ok, for my last MPU post I am doing a straight response to Jasmyn Spann's Rocky Horror casting. I don't hate your cast, and they could all do a great job. I just see it very differently so let's see what's on my slab?

First off, should this EVER be remade?

This is a tough one, Rocky Horror is beloved by so many people that it almost seems sacrilegious to remake it. Tim Curry was perfection right?

Yes, but Rocky Horror is performed on the stage somewhere EVERY DAY. There have been so many stage versions now, that a new movie isn't going to be a bad thing.

What is important however is to keep the campy, schlocky tone of the original. No modern interpretations, no clever gimmicks, this is one movie where the 'shot for shot remake' would not only work, but suit it down to the ground. So without further ado...we'll take our first jump to the left and cast...

Frank N' Furter

One name leapt into my head when I thought of this, but it's also someone who would make an awesome Brad. My reason for picking this guy is two-fold, one he has the kind of physical presence that would be needed to not only make the character work but also the experience of relaunching something from the past successfully. That man is Jason Segel.

The guy is a little older than Curry was, but his recent gym work for Sex Tape kinda gave him the right body for Frank. He's the kind of actor who would disappear into the make-up, much like Curry did and could handle the physicality and musicality needed. I can totally see Segel being able to rock "Sweet Transvestite" on the big screen better than almost anyone out there and before you say Russell Brand or Johnny Depp... no...just no...

Janet Weiss

Here is where we go very different and a role that could make (or break) someone who hasn't acted before. There is no one out there who fits this role better than...Taylor Swift.

She's shown in her videos she can do the dorky, straight-laced but cute AND the vixen. Musically she can handle songs like 'Touch Me' and could handle the dance side of things. Where it gets a little murky is whether she would be able to handle the lasciviousness of the role or if it would "damage her image" in her or her management's eyes. If done right, it could be a breakout role and get her a lot more roles in the future. If we go with Taylor however, we have to get someone a little more experienced for Brad.

Brad Majors

We need someone with musical and dance timing, who can act and also play dorky but still be a 'hunk and fit with Taylor as Janet is... Justin Timberlake.

While I am no particular fan of him musically, Justin has built a pretty strong acting CV over the years, with underrated performances in movies such as Edison, Black Snake Moan and Alpha Dog along with his more rom-com/chick flick roles. The one that makes it work for me is Bad Teacher, he was dorky enough that he could easily take on the role of Brad, and opposite Swift you'd have a major mainstream media screen couple. TMZ would be all over it, as would a lot of fans of both Swift & Timberlake, it'd be an OMG total meltdown moment for them.

He's used to being a little racy, although he toned it down after his own 'Dammit Janet' at the Superbowl. This is probably a chance for him to take those chains off and show a bit more of a grown-up side.

And I can totally hear his version of Science Fiction/Double Feature kicking off the movie.

Riff-Raff

The role made famous by the show's creator, Richard O'Brien is hard to cast as he was so iconic in it. Who has the kind of comedic chops, coupled with the dark side that O'Brien brought to the role and also be able to handle arguably the biggest musical number in The Time Warp?

Here's where we go for that other alumnus of How I Met Your Mother...Neil Patrick Harris. He'd have to shave his head, but he has the right "weasel" look and knows his way around a show tune or two as shown by his musical interludes as Barney Stinson. It'd be a great chance for Harris to do something outside of his usual characters and banish Barney once and for all.

Magenta

As much as I could see Helena Bonham Carter in the role, she doesn't quite fit for me. Again, we need someone who can handle the singing part while also getting over the nuttiness. Here I go for someone who has recently taken to acting and will appear in the latest series of American Horror Story.

Lady Gaga fits this in the same way that Madonna would have fit a remake in 1989, smaller part but a BIG name in it. Magenta fits the kookiness of Gaga and I get the feeling she and Harris would be a great double act on screen.

Columbia

Here, I go with another young, crazy pop icon. Miley Cyrus.

Sure there is a lot of actual musicians in this cast, but that's no bad thing - Miley brings that sexy, off the wall quality that Patricia Quinn did, but with added fan appeal. The idea of Swift, Cyrus and Gaga in a movie may actually be impossible due to egos, but if the three could co-exist then the movie has all the momentum it needs as long as it's done well.

Eddie

Come on, Jack Black was born for this...surely you knew where I was gonna go with this. That he's slightly older now works even better, that Eddie has been a "prisoner" for a while.

Dr. Everett Scott

I liked the idea of Bill Murray, but he's not quite the right guy. To me, this needs to be JK Simmons. He has the right character, could pull off being in the wheelchair and would give the cast a little bit of gravitas.

The Criminologist

OK, this is THE role other than Frank N' Furter that has to be got right. Christopher Walken could do it, so could Patrick Stewart and my ideal would be David Bowie but yeah, I am going with the guy who would normally be front and centre of the weird, playing it straight for once. Johnny Depp.


Depp gives the movie that A-list name that would make a studio say "OK, we'll go with the rest" but him not being in the lead means he can be used at his most effective. It'd be great to see that moment in Time Warp where Depp interjects "It's just a jump to the left" while Segel is doing what everyone thought Depp would do. OK, twist my arm and we can go with Robert Downey Jr.

Rocky

This is such a small part, that physical attributes are the main thing needed. This is the one I wouldn't change. Henry Cavill fits the bill perfectly.

I dunno, the idea of 4 top music stars in one movie might be too much, but I figure if you're gonna do this, you've got to make it a musical first and foremost. Everyone in this cast could help pull that off.

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