The sky was bright, beautiful with the setting sun in the background. Asgard looked so amazing right now, but all I could feel was the empty place next to me. I couldn’t enjoy the delight and fun my friends were enjoying right now, so instead I of joining them, I sat by myself outside.
I was finally well enough to be out of bed a few days after Loki left, but I didn’t feel like I was back to normal. I felt Loki’s presence with me when I reached for him, but I couldn’t get any further than that. It left me feeling hopeful and afraid.
I could hear the laughter in the private dining chamber, the part in full swing, the smell of food wafting outside, but I wasn’t hungry. My friends kept trying to get my back out in society, to talk more, to have fun. But my mind was full of questions instead, ones I couldn’t answer, or was afraid of answering. Everything I had learned these past few days troubled me, and some of it I still couldn’t wrap my head around just yet.
Loki had committed treason. Treason. I still mentally choked on the word. I couldn’t even picture what Thor had told me, that Loki betrayed his kingdom by letting Frost Giants in to kill Odin, destroying Laufey himself before they could succeed. He then continued to attempt to destroy Jotunheim completely.
I knew Loki was ashamed of his heritage. I never suspected he would want to rid the universe of Frost Giants. As for him letting in Laufey, I could only imagine that’s what he had been hiding from me. And then he tried to get rid of Thor. I couldn’t even say the word kill right now. I felt like such an idiot, so blind. Odin probably thought I was an idiot as well, though he didn’t say anything of the sort to me. I’m sure he suspected I knew something, like the fact that Loki and I were bound. Thor had kept that to himself, to keep me out of trouble.
I had trouble talking to my friends about this. Actually, I didn’t talk about it with them at all; they hated Loki, and I couldn’t blame them. Loki had done something terrible, there was no arguing it, not defence for it, as far as we knew. The rest of Asgard didn’t really know what happened. Odin was keeping it hushed up, until we got some more answers. I didn’t want to even guess how long an investigation would take, without Loki here to answer for his actions.
The only person who I felt I could talk to was Thor. He alone understood how lost and confused I felt. He understood my emotions towards Loki, which no one, not even Volstag, one of the most compassionate people here, could understand.
I still loved him. I missed him. Every morning since, I’ve woken up hoping it was all a bad dream, then to be hit with the reality of Loki’s betrayal, and the love I still bore for him. Only Thor understood that I couldn’t just shut my feelings off. Even if we weren’t bound, I still would’ve felt this way.
“Deep reflections?” Thor’s soft tone awakened me from my thoughts. He was usually the person to bring me back from my troubles now.
I nodded. “I miss him Thor. I’m worried for him, and I want him to come home.” I wouldn’t hide that from anyone. I wanted Loki back in Asgard.
“I do as well.” His face became troubled. “Though when…if he returns, he will have to answer for his crimes.”
“I know. I don’t care. I just want him home Thor. Where he’s safe. Once he is here safe, out of trouble, I will feel better, and I will be able to give him a piece of my mind.” I couldn’t be mad at Loki right now, worried as I was at the moment. When he was home and I was less overwhelmed, he’d get my wrath.
Wanting to lighten the mood a bit, I changed the subject. “So. Jane Foster still on your mind?” Thor had come back from Asgard much changed. He fell in love with a woman there, and has since been less boisterous, wiser, and quieter. Fandral had a bet going with Sif on how long his affections would last. But I didn’t think this was something short-lived, a phase. Thor had really changed for the better.
“She is always on my mind, wherever I look. She visits me in sleep, during battle, when I look for peace and quiet.” He looked like he was lost too, without her.
“You miss her.” I stated. He only nodded. “I guess we’re both missing a piece of ourselves.” He put a hand on my shoulder and squeezed before leaving me to go to the Bifrost. I knew he was going to check on Jane. He did it every night.
The distance thing was harder on Thor right now with Jane than it was with Loki and I, or so I guessed. Thor knew exactly where Jane was, and if the Bifrost site hadn’t been destroyed, he could go see her, whereas I had no idea where Loki was.
I sighed, watching the clouds moving. I would wait for Loki to come home. I would wait a hundred years if I had to. My soul was waiting for him, my heart incomplete.
Nearly 2 years later…
“The Tessaract has awakened…”
Loki stood as he accepted the gilded sceptre with the power of the Tessaract embedded in it. It was time for him to fulfill his destiny.