Few action stars exude the wit, charm, and suavity (that’s a word, I checked) of James Bond. And if we are all honest with ourselves, we all want to be like him. Who can possibly watch 007 chase bad guys through Swiss mountains, sweet talk the ladies, and drive stunning cars and not want to become James Bond?
There are entire websites and books dedicated to becoming MI6’s most valuable asset, but they are long, exhaustive, and expensive. Luckily for you, you are an intelligent All That’s Epic reader, and will now be privy to the secrets of becoming Bond for free in just three steps.
So if you’re searching for the ultimate guide in obtaining the sleek, savoir-faire of the world’s foremost gentleman spy, look no further. You’ve found it.
Step One: Personality
“Manners maketh man,” Galahad teaches us in Kingsman: The Secret Service, and he couldn’t be more right. Even if you manage to look the part of 007, your effort would be wasted if you can’t behave like him. Here are some key points you’ll want to remember during your transformation:
Be charming. Every single word that comes from Bond’s mouth leaves us smiling and wanting more. His personality is attractive and cunning, and this all stems from his charm. Keep in mind that charm has nothing to do with flirtation. That’s an entirely different ball game. Charm will allow you to draw people to yourself, regardless of gender, and after you’re gone, those people will find themselves recalling memories of you for no other reason than that they enjoyed your presence.
Be silent. Another big part of Bond’s personality is the air of mystery that surrounds him. This is achieved by knowing when and when not to talk. Don’t spill your guts. Don’t feel the need to fill every silent moment with idle chatter. Say what must be said, and then simply listen and observe.
Be confident. Bond is an extremely attractive guy, but it doesn’t all come from his dashing good looks. Confidence is more important that looks, and Bond has confidence in spades. He can do anything and everything, and he knows it. This skillset is highly unrealistic for mere mortals, so fake it until you make it.
Step Two: Shopping Spree
Once you have the personality down, things start to get really fun. It’s time to shop. Bond’s outfit is typically stunning but subtle. It looks sharp enough to draw attention, but never distracts from the man wearing it. You have a few different styles to go with to suit almost any occasion (clothing pun).
Casual: This will be the outfit you sport in everyday situations, whether out around town, at the beach, on vacation, or simply at home. Remember: 007 is never a slob. Your casual outfit should be comfortable and impeccably tailored. A solid pair of chinos or khaki slacks are always a safe bet. Combine the chinos with a light button-up and boat shoes, and you’re set.
Formal: This is the quintessential Bond outfit we all know and love. The elegance of a 007 tuxedo lies in its simplicity and striking fit. A classic black tux from Hackett London, Armani, or Brooks Brothers will do the trick just fine, but if you really want to spruce it up, emulate this classic white jacket from the newest Spectre poster.
Accessories: Honestly, Bond has it a bit easy. He gets all his accessories straight from Q Branch and never never has to pay a dime. However, most of us aren’t that lucky and will have to fork over a pretty penny in order to accessorize properly. The very basics will require a gorgeous watch, either Rolex or Bulova, a Prada belt, and a subtle ring.
Car: This is what you’ve been waiting for, right? Over the years, Bond has used and subsequently destroyed a large number of sexy vehicles. We would encourage you to be more wise in your driving tactics. Typically, 007 is a fan of Aston Martin vehicles, and they have become synonymous with his name. However, Bond has also gone through spells of driving BMW, Audi, Bentley, and Alfa Romeo. Any of these vehicles should suit you perfectly.
Step Three: Skillset
This is the final step and is, by far, the most difficult step of all. You can fake the personality and you can buy all the clothes and accessories, but without the requisite skillset, you will never become Bond. 007 excels at all he does, whether it be extreme sports, sharp-shooting, or piloting. He is simply the best. This level of confidence and skill is achieved through countless hours of training, conditioning, and practice. The James Bond skillset separates the men from the boys, as it were.
A good place to start is in hand to hand combat and firearm training. These are at the core of Bond’s skillset, and are a must have. After mastering these techniques you can then move on to the really cool stuff like intense parkour, driving, and skiing. The surefootedness you will acquire from all this training will surely help you become the greatest Double-O Agent the world has ever known.
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Spectre releases October 26 in the UK and November 6 in the US.