When I think back to my childhood fascination with Bond movies and what it was that had me hooked on his larger than life, cheeky spy escapades, it wasn't the stunning locales, the beautiful women or ridiculous cars that preyed on my burgeoning adolescence. No, it was the gadgets, of course.
Each Bond movie and their ever changing technological eras brought with them some incredible gadgets and weapons, right up until Bond's invisible Aston Martin. But there were some utterly ridiculous ones that may have slipped from your memory.
Come with me now, as I cast an eye over the sea of time! Back at some of the silliest gadgets Q Branch have fathomed:
10. Hand Trap/Cheese Grater... Thing (Diamonds Are Forever)
Out of all the gadgets here, this is the one I'd love to see companies attempt to recreate IRL. Tired of pesky pickpockets? Carry around one of these gadgets and tear thieving hands up in one swift and easy step. The stuff telesales dreams are made of.
Seriously though, why would anyone at Q branch think this is a good idea? What if Bond forgot it was in his pocket? Well, I guess he is always on point.
9. Brush Communicator (Live And Let Die)
Of all the things to slip a radio communicator in, it would have to be a brush. This compact and handy brush communicator translates voice messages into morse code! So spare a thought for the lucky intern on the other line, sheepishly spelling out "F**K YOU, Q BRANCH AND YOUR DUMBASS S**T", as Bond finally gets eaten by that shark.
8. Phone Booth (GoldenEye)
Used in the background as a visual joke whilst Q discusses with Bond the awesomeness of his newly created belt buckle rappelling device, a member of Q branch gets trapped in this vintage British Telecommunications phone booth. I've seen some weird stuff in phone booths in my time, this is definitely number 4 on that list.
7. Wheelchair & Leg Cast Rocket Launcher (GoldenEye)
Not the most inconspicuous of gadgets and weapons here. This is a leg cast that doubles up as a friggin' rocket! I'm guessing this would only be useful if your target was standing in line with you on a very, very straight piece of road. What about the recoil though...? Would that turn into a Red Dragon flaming wheelchair type situ if gone wrong? Just sayin'.
6. Literal Ghetto Blaster (The Living Daylights)
Dropping bombs as well as the bass, this Ghetto Blaster would come in handy if you were to ever overhear someone blaring some wack noise on your saunter around the block. Wonder how many batteries this bad boy would need?
5. Tea Tray X-Ray Document Scanner (GoldenEye)
Yes, you read correctly. A tea tray that also doubles up as a document scanner. Good thing all of MI6's targets are partial to a drop of darjeeling and a few scones in the afternoon.
4. Radioactive Pocket Lint (On Her Majesty's Secret Service)
Created as a genius and mad creepy way of keeping tabs on Bond. If the Codename: James Bond theory is true, this would be a good indicator of this seeing as that particular Bond must've died a horrible, cancerous death...
3. Ski Pole Gun (The Spy Who Loved Me)
Because carrying a real gun isn't how MI6 operatives handle their biz. This handy ski pole rifle thingy activates like an umbrella would, but is only slightly more dangerous if you're not looking the right way.
2. Surfboard (Die Another Day)
Contained within Bond's surfboard are two sticks of C4, detonators, communicators gadgets and his trusty Walther P99 pistol. Pretty handy, right? But my only question is: how the hell did it float? Seriously?! How?
1. Revolving Sofa Trap (The Living Daylights)
This hungry piece of furniture swallows whichever lucky soul sits on it. Good thing vintage stuff is so in right now, the obligatory coins, hair clips, crumbs and bones found underneath the plush cushions will have many a story to tell.