Attack on Titan is a worldwide phenomenon. From, almost, the time the first issue saw print, the adventures of Eren, Mikasa, Armin, Levi, and their fearless group of comrades fighting overwhelming odds and colossal opponents, has been met with excitement. What happens next to this band of young heroes has become, without a doubt, one of the most important things in most fanboys’ minds.
As with most great pieces of graphic literature, it made the progression from print to anime. And, it didn’t take long for to make the next, logical, leap to OVA’s and, then, eventually to live action. Of course, when riding a wave like the one for Titan, you can’t take chances. You have to ride the momentum, so, it was little wonder that, within only a few years of its first manga, Attack On Titan made its live action debut.
Now, Walter and I love Titan just as much as you do, if not more, and, so, we were stoked when the announcement was made that a live action Titan movie was on the way- at least until we saw the trailer. There were glaring issues, even in the trailer, but, needless to say, our love for the source material had us waiting for, what we were cautiously hopeful was, a decent movie that at least paid homage to the manga. What we got was an, inexcusably bad movie.
Well, by now, most of us have had a chance to see, as well as, time to digest the terrible Titan movie that came out this past summer; and, love it or hate it, there is a second installment on the way. So, in light of the second film coming to us in a few days, we at Off Shoot Comics, thought we would tell you: the Top 10 reasons the Attack on Titan movie sucked. Before we move on, there are spoilers ahead.
TOP 10 REASONS ATTACK ON TITAN THE LIVE ACTION MOVIE SUCKED
1. There Are No Last Names in This World
This might seem sort of nit-picky, but we never hear the names Jaeger, Arlet, Reiss or Ackerman during the entire movie; which is an issue seeing as some of those surnames are rather important to the story.
2. Original Characters are Awful
We see a few original characters, like the new girl in Eren's squad, who tries to sleep with him, the random Military police command guy, some dude who isn't Levi (#NotLevi) and another guy who, somehow, straight up throws Titans. We get no backstory on them; we’re given no reason to care about them over, even, the titans. At least with the characters from the manga, we have an established connection to those characters. These are so out of left field, that we find ourselves more fascinated with how they die than hoping that they live. And we are missing characters that are incredibly important such as Christa, Ymir, Bertholdt, Reiner, Annie, Pixis, Eren's parents, Mikasa's parents, Armin's grandfather and, of course, freaking Levi!
3. Survey Corp and 3D Gear Are Brand New but Feel Obsolete
So in a world of tanks, helicopters, RPGs and dudes who can straight up throw Titans they decide to take a step backwards, resorting, instead, to swords and overly complicated Spiderman web-shooter rip offs. In the Titan Manga the 3D gear was an advancement from their current tech, but in their cinematic world, with the tech they already have, it’s a step back. (Yes we know they say tech is forbidden, but their line on what's okay and what's not seems pretty stupid and contrived)
Also the idea of the Survey Corp being new, meaning this is their first time outside of the walls in any meaningful capacity, seems really unrealistic for humanity. There is, always, someone crazy enough to go out into the unknown.
4. No Levi
Levi, one of the greatest characters in this entire franchise, is not in this movie at all. He is replaced by a parody of a guy from the Iron Chef, and all he does is narrate as other characters die. Levi is not pleased!
5. Mikasa's Backstory is Non-existent
Speaking of non-existent backstories, one of the most important backstories of the franchise, Mikasa's backstory, was changed. What makes her the strong compelling character that she is in the manga? She was captured by human traffickers who wanted her because she was the last Asian in existence. She saw both of her parents murdered, right in front of her, just before she was rescued by Eren, who, also, killed two of her captors. She, then, is forced to kill the third one to save Eren. It's, then, that she realizes she's epic, and it’s after all that trauma that Eren gives her the scarf that she always wears. All of this is destroyed in the movie as they don't go into ANY of those facts. She's not intimidating, she's not a good fighter at first and is so afraid of Titans she just sits in the open, crying, while one walks up to eat her.
Oh and she gets the scarf because she’s cold...
6. People Just Be Straight Up Throwing Titans...
People just be straight up throwing Titans.
7. Their Walls Seem to Not Be Made of Titans
One of the really important plot points in the manga and anime is that the walls could only be breached at the gates because the walls are made of hardened Titans. However, when the Colossal Titan attacks, he kicks through the wall, itself, implying that, perhaps the wall is not made up of hardened titans... which is sort of important to know.
8. #NotLevi Sucks
He sits as Eren gets destroyed by Titans, watches a girl waste all of their explosives on one Titan who doesn’t even get killed, and hits on Mikasa in weird ways right, in front of Eren just to piss him off. And of course, his greatest sin: HE’S NOT LEVI!
9. Eren Has Been Neutered
Eren is nowhere near the epic, rage filled character he was in the manga/anime. He's not the guy who killed two dudes to save Mikasa and encouraged her to find her inner killer. He's not the guy who saw his mother get eaten and vowed to kill all Titans so humanity could live outside the walls and really be alive. He's not the guy that convinced Jean and all of the people in his group to join the Survey Corps instead of the safety of the military police. He’s none of this, at all.
Instead he's sort of a watered down version of himself who has no real motivation, even when Mikasa reappears half way through the movie. He convinced no one to join the Survey Corps (in fact there was never a choice they all just sort of became a part of it, making that epic part a non-factor in this abomination) and is so weak willed that he breaks down in a random weird screaming rage after seeing Mikasa with #NotLevi. You don't really feel a reason for him to even really be in this movie past the fact he's a Titan shifter.
10. The Technology is Way Too Advanced for Titans to Be a Threat
In this movie, in just the first few minutes, we see an unexploded bomb (that was most likely dropped from a plane by the way) and a ruined Helicopter. We then see they have armored vehicles, explosives, flashlights, fully automatic rifles and a straight up RPG. If you have all of these...how are slow, stupid monsters you can kill with two swords and throw around at random, that much of an issue?
Bonus! Sorry folks, this top 10 needs a number 11, because:
11. There is Going to Be a Part 2!
The worst thing about this abomination is: there is going to be ANOTHER one coming to us on September 30th this year. And, I guess we'll sit through this travesty, again, so you all don't have to. Check out our videos below to see the full range of our rage!